The Alien Factor - Extraterrestrial Zoo Escape

The Alien Factor
1978
Directed by Don Dohler
Written by Don Dohler
Starring: Don Leifert, Tom Griffith & Richard Dyszel 

Unrated - Approx. 80 Minutes
Cinemagic

Taglines:
- They brought terror from beyond our galaxy!

Alternate Titles:

Skrekken fra rommet (Terror from the Room) Norway

"She's in shock, Bert, she didn't say ANYTHING!"

                                                                             - Sheriff Cinder

 I love Regional Horror.  To me there's nothing better than when a group of people get themselves together and make a movie simply because they love doing it.  There is an immediate tactile sense to the whole thing, and for my money Hollywood can never beat it.  Even more so, I love the films of Don Dohler.  You can tell that he absolutely loves his films....almost to a fault.  I'm getting ahead of myself though.

That's an interesting spacecraft you got there......not very aerodynamic though...

Aliens wear jeans apparently....

The Alien Factor starts with a young couple making out in their car, which is parked in a field in the middle of winter during the day.  As if that isn't odd enough, an insectoid alien drags the guy out of his car window and mauls him...the girl booking it and getting out of dodge, leaving Romeo behind to get the ol' extraterrestrial pulled pork treatment.  

The local Sheriff thinks that it's a wild animal attack.  He brings the girl and her mangled boyfriend to (I guess) the local hospital (which looks suspiciously like someones house) where a doctor and her assistant (George Stover!) perform an autopsy on the body.  Meanwhile, Mayor Wicker (who is apparently not respected by anyone because they all just call him Bert) is worried that this is going to affect his entertainment park plans for the town.  

What's an alien flick without rednecks going out to hunt them?

There are more mysterious deaths including a fella who is apparently rapidly aged.  Dr Sherman thinks that it may be an advanced case of Progeria (a disease that appears to rapidly age it's victims).  We know better though, because we've seen the insectoid alien as well as a tall furry thing with pincers in it's mouth.  Ew.  

Enter Ben Zachary, a mysterious fellow who offers to help, claiming that he studies the occult, extraterrestrials, etc.  With no other ideas or options, Bert....er...Mayor Wicker and Sheriff Cinder employ his help, hoping to rid themselves of this menace.  The Sheriff and Zachary hike out into the woods and discover the downed UFO.  Zachary then starts to receive a psychic message from an alien that's lying dying nearby.  The alien divulges information about the escaped creatures.  At this point Zachary tells the Mayor and Sheriff that he can rid them of the alien problem, but he has to work alone.  

The Insectoid Alien says HELLO!!!!!!

Bigfoot is an understatment!  Look at the size of those things!

Supposedly the deadliest of the aliens....also the cutest.

The ending of the movie is cliched on one hand....but I also didn't see it coming the first time I watched it way back when.  I'm not sure if that's due to the fact that I was watching it at 3am or if the acting is so stiff and wonky that you just can't read emotions, but at any rate....it caught me off guard the first time.

A word of warning:  The Alien Factor is not a film for beginners.  What I mean is this:  If you are a lover of "bad" movies, there's a lot to love here.  Everything from the creative low budget alien effects to the hilariously over the top 70's band performing in a local bar is a B to Z Grade movie buff's dream.  If you are just getting into it though, you may want to get your feet wet with another film.  The Alien Factor can be quite talky at times.  Then there's the extended shots of people running around the Maryland woods in the middle of winter.  You really get a sense that Dohler was in love with the images he had put on scene and was reluctant to cut them from the film...hence you have a three minute sequence of someone just wandering around the woods.  This is what I meant when I said that he may have loved his films to a fault.

If I was Sheriff....I'd rock out bad-ass sideburns too!

Ooooh, Bert.  

The Mysterious Mr. Zachary.

GORE:

There's not a whole heck of a lot of the red stuff, but there are a few dead bodies hanging around.  The guy who get's his lifeforce sucked out (that's the progeria looking guy) is pretty cool.  There's a few shots of the red stuff here and there, but not a whole heck of a lot.

T&A:

Sorry guys, there's more flesh on display in most Disney movies.

MONSTERS:

The whole reason to watch this flick!  The aliens are all varied and pretty cool.  The insectoid is a humanoid bug.  It's a like a very low budget precursor to the Judas Roaches in Mimic!  Then there's the big furry one.  He's got goat like legs (though the feet are big weird three toed thingies) and sorta looks like Bigfoot had a love child with a bug.  There's an alien that looks like a Sasquatch got turned inside out and then put on a pair of jeans (!?) and finally a giant lizard type alien that is stop motion animated in the film.

I want to be in this band in the worst way

FINAL THOUGHTS

As I said above, this one is a little rough going in parts and I wouldn't recommend it for bad film novices.  However, if you love these types of films and you want to see some truly wonky acting and some good ol' fashioned cinematic ingenuity (some of the forced perspective shots of the UFO's are really very good) then you can't go wrong.  You've gotta love the sheer wackiness of the whole thing.  Also, there's that awesome band.  

FINAL RATING

THREE OUT OF FIVE PIZZA ROLLS

SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Without Warning - Alien Big Game Hunting

Without Warning
1980
Directed by Greydon Clark
Written by Lyn Freeman, Daniel Grodnik

Starring Jack Palance, Martin Landau & Cameron Mitchell

Rated R - Approx 89 Min
Heritage Enterprises Inc.

Filmways Pictures 


Taglines:

 - The Alien Terror Is Here On Earth.
 - It Preys On Human Fear. It Feeds On Human Flesh.

 - Earth Is The Hunting Ground. Man Is The Endangered Species.





Alternate Titles:
Alien Warning
It Came Without Warning
Alien Encounters
The Warning - UK
Llegan sin avisar (They Come Without Warning) Spain
Ilman varoitusta (Without Warning) Finland
Varoitus (Warning) Finland 
Utan varning (Without Warning) Sweden
Terreur extraterrestre (Alien Terror) France
Πλανήτης Γι: Παιγνίδι για εξωγήινους (For Planet: A Toy For Aliens) Greece
Fenyegetés (Threat) Hungary
Horror - Caccia ai terrestri (Horror - Hunt For Land) Italy
Ostrzezenie (Warning) Poland
Alien Shock - West Germany

Das Geheimnis der fliegenden Teufel (The Mystery of the Flying Devils) West Germany

"No chance....no help....no escape...."
                                                          -Sarge

I was going to wait until the fancy new Blu Ray from Shout Factory dropped to review this one, but damnit, I really wanted to watch it and after watching it, I decided...what the hell....why not review it now and add to the hype!

                                            

                                             

Palance, Mitchell & Landau!  It's like and early 80's extraterrestrial Expendables! 

Without Warning is another film that falls very nicely into the Campfire Tale Feeling™ brand of movies.  From the first frame, it drips with atmosphere and dread.  The plot is absolutely nothing new:  There's something in the woods and it's hunting humans.  It's how the plot is executed that really makes this one for me.  First of all, there's a who's-who of some of my favorite actors:  Jack Palance, Martin Landau and Cameron Mitchell all under one title?  Sold!  Secondly they save the monster for the end, like a classic should.  For the bulk of the movie we only see the strange little flying critters that it tosses at it's prey, which then attach to them, sucking their fluids out.

The Flying Frisbee Creatures™ in all their glory

These little critters are nasty looking.....they are slimy, brown little pentagon shaped things.  They fly through the air like a Frisbee until they attach to their intended prey.  Then they secure themselves on to said prey through tentacles that burrow into the flesh of the prey.  They have gnashing teeth in the center that look like they could give quite a hickey if given half the chance.

Don't mind the dead bobcat there....

Who the hell is Zorba????

The film opens with Cameron Mitchell's character taking his son on a hunting trip.  It's not very long into their morning excursion that they are both taken out by the Frisbee Critters.  Now you KNOW all bets are off when Cameron Mitchell is the first to go!  We then shift our attention to a teenage foursome on their way to "The Lake".  Isn't it funny how everyplace has "The Lake"?  It never has a name....it's always just...."The Lake".  Kinda like how when they need an expert on something in a flick, they'll just call "The University".  That's always amused me.  Anyway, I digress.

"The Lake"

The foursome, Sandy, Greg, Beth and Tom stop on their way to "The Lake" to get some gas at a little ramshackle gas station.  Right outside there's a dead bobcat hung from a tree.  Huh!  Looks like a friendly place, don't it?  The place appears to be abandoned, so naturally the girls seek out the bathroom while the guys fill up the van after realizing that there are no locks on the pumps.

Greg and Sandy search for their friends

Here we are introduced to two more characters that we'll be seeing more of down the road:  The Sarge (Landau) whom Sandy runs into while investigating the men's room (the women's room is locked) and Taylor, who owns the gas station and is apparently quite the avid hunter.  Hmmmm, foreshadowing much?  The gang pays for their gas and spills the beans that they are headed toward "The Lake".  Taylor warns them not to go there...stating that there are too many hunters around and there have already been accidents.  He makes the kids promise they won't go.  The kids promise (and I'm sure they each had their fingers crossed) and go on their merry way.

What could possibly go wrong with a Scoutmaster bringing a bunch of scouts into alien infested woods?

Naturally, the head start for "The Lake" where they swim and make out and what-not.  It's all downhill from there for the kids.  Tom and Beth vanish and after searching for them, Greg and Sandy come across a shed owned by the Water Dept.  Looking inside they find not only the bodies of Tom and Beth, but of Cameron Mitchell, his son and a Scout Master that was taken out earlier in the film as well.  They make a break for it, running back to the van.  On of the Flying Frisbee Critters lands on their windshield, where we get a good look at the freaky little thing.  Being a horror flick, the van won't start at first.....so we get a nice moment of tension as Greg desperately tries to start the van while SOMETHING is trying to get in the side door.  Oh the suspense!

Here's a fun gallery of dead bodies for ya!

Greg and Sandy drive off to find help, ending up at a bar full of country folk.....and Sarge.  Greg tells his tale of finding the bodies in the water shed, and about the Flying Frisbee Creature, which makes the locals think that perhaps the kid is in cahoots with Sarge, who's been babbling about alien invasion for years.  Unfortunately Sarge starts to become more and more unhinged as the night goes on.  The power goes out and as the Sheriff arrives, Sarge shoots him, thinking him to be an alien.  Taylor (remember our hunter friend from the gas station) takes Greg and Sandy and the threesome try to find a way to turn the tables on the extraterrestrial hunter....eventually ending in a western-ish showdown.  Would you have it any other way with Jack Palance?

The Bar Scene is SO Campfire, I felt like I needed s'mores!

I haven't watched this film in years.  It has never been available on DVD and I think the only VHS copies were only available overseas.  The Blu Ray edition from Shout Factory on August 5th is going to be the first time that this film is available on home video in the states.  I do remember seeing in on cable sometime in the late 80's....I have a very strong memory of watching this alone late one night in my family's sun-porch (where we had a nice little entertainment center setup) long after everyone else had gone to bed.  If I'm not mistaken, I had crept downstairs to watch it late one night.

Oh dear Jesus, what in the hell is THAT?

GORE
There is a fair amount of gore on display here.  The Flying Frisbee Critters make a bit of a mess when they attach themselves to a victim, with slimy tentacles and gnashing teeth tearing up human flesh.  There's also a good look at the dead bodies hanging in the water shed, with some good gore fx on them.

T&A
No nudity in this one.  Couple of girls in bikinis are all yer gonna get here, mister!

MONSTERS
Awwww yeah!  First of all there's the Flying Frisbee Critters.  Slimy little pentagon shaped critters with tentacles and teeth that fly through the air just waiting to burrow into your skin and gnaw on you!  Then there's The Hunter alien.  He's a tall, bald mofo that looks very similar to the standard description of aliens.  Only instead of short and grey, he's tall and blue.  Still, a disturbing sight, especially if you're like me and aliens freak you out!

Showdown by the Water Shed

Final Thoughts
Why this movie has never had a wide release before is beyond me.  It's got everything you could possibly want:  Aliens, gore, campy acting, great actors, and a palpable feeling of dread.  Truly one of the best scenes in all of B-movie cinema is the bar scene that takes place about at the midway point.  It oozes that Campfire Tale Feeling™.  I cannot wait until this comes out on Blu Ray.  I would love to see this film cleaned up and I can't wait to see it find a larger audience.  This is truly a classic and a gem.  Don't Miss It!

Final Rating 
FOUR OUT OF FIVE PIZZA ROLLS!

Prime Time - Boob Tube Shenanigans

Prime Time
1977
Directed by - Bradley R. Swirnoff

Written by -  John Baskin, Stephen Feinberg & Roger Shulman
Starring -  Royce D. Applegate, Joanna Cassidy & Twink Caplan

Taglines:
 - Non-stop Laughs
 - The Movie That Grabs TV By The Dials And Won't Let Go!

Alternative Titles:
Pähkähullu USA (Mad Hatter USA)  Finland

América Divertida (America Fun)  Portugal





"I don't care WHAT you are....I'm gonna fuck ya!"
                                                                  -Truck Driver

In the words of Freddy Krueger:  "Welcome to Prime Time, Bitch!"

I don't think that it's a surprise to anyone who has read Midnight Cinephile that I'm a huge fan of trash.  I love the obscure, the esoteric and the sublimely ridiculous.  So naturally when I came across this little gem, I was smitten immediately.  Prime Time is one of those films that manages to perfectly capture the essence of Midnight Cinephile.  Much like Kentucky Fried Movie and Amazon Women on the Moon, Prime Time is less of a movie and more of a 90 minute sketch comedy show loosely held together by the thinnest of plots.

This sounds like something I would come across on late night cable.

It seems that the television airwaves around the globe have been taken over by an unknown force and regular programming has been replaced with cheeky, raunchy and sometimes tasteless programming.  In other words, it's like I took over television.  The segments range from commercials for humorous products to parody news reports and spoofs of television shows.

Those pants are ass-less.  Trust me on this.

Some of the more memorable segments include what is quite possibly the most tasteless (read funny but wrong) ads for a television event:  Celebrity Sportsman Presents -  The Charles Whitman Invitational!  I'm not going to lie, I chuckled at the absurdity of the segment, especially when the hunters were tying their kills to their SUV.  Even though I chuckled, I couldn't help but feel that the boundaries of tact were pushed quite a bit there.   In case you don't remember who Charles Whitman is....he was the former marine who climbed to the top of the clock tower at the University of Texas and went on a shooting spree, killing 16 people and wounding 32 others before being shot and killed by police on August 1, 1966.  It was the deadliest school shooting until the Virginia Tech Massacre in 2007.

Other segments include what at first appears to be a human interest story about a mailman who had defied the odds and still delivered the mail despite losing both his legs by rolling himself along on a custom platform using his hands.  Unfortunately things go wrong when he encounters a hill and the announcers informs us that we should Fire The Handicapped.

One of the many public service announcements....

Among the fake tv show promos there's Frontier Gynecologist, which sounds pretty damn wrong, though the image of a man giving a gynecological exam to a woman while they are both riding on the same horse was pretty amusing.  The Shitheads is a take on hidden camera shows where buckets of excrement are dumped on unsuspecting strangers and The Paranoids is a sitcom spoof about a couple who are....well....paranoid.

I sure hope she's insured.....

False product commercials range from Misty Morning Douche (which comes in two scents:  Rose and Herring!), Mamorex Cassette Tapes....which incorporates Nazi "humor" (I use the term humor loosely here), and of course Clampax (which features a hilarious tutorial for women on how to insert a Clampax).

GORE:
There isn't much in the way of blood here, despite the above mentioned Charles Whitman Invitational.  There are several dead bodies on display, though.  Everything is played out for humor.

T&A:
There is some 70's T&A to be found here, but not much.  A couple of pairs of breasts and a brief glimpse of bush are about all your gonna see here.

MONSTERS: 
 No monsters here, kiddies.  Though there is an apparent serial killer posing as a pitch man for laundry detergent.....so there's that.

Do I really need to say  ANYTHING here?  No, I didn't think so.

FINAL THOUGHTS
This is one of those flicks that would work out great for a party.  Just running the absurdity in the background can add a fun ambiance to the festivities.  It would also be a fun flick to spring on your friends for movie night (so long as your friends have a good sense of humor!)  If you're into the weird and wacky, then you'll find a lot to like here.  I'll be quoting lines from this film for a good long time.


FINAL RATING
THREE OUT OF FIVE PIZZA ROLLS

Almost Human - Invasion of the Body Slashers

Almost Human
2013
Directed by Joe Begos
Written by Joe Begos

Starring Graham Skipper, Josh Ethier &
Vanessa Leigh 

Unrated - Approx 80 Min
Channel 83 Film
Ambrosino / Delmenico


Tagline:
- AN UNSPEAKABLE TERROR HAS COME HOME.

Alternate Titles:
Casi humanos (Being Human) Spain

Ανθρώπινο κτήνος (Human Beast)   Greece



"You let the take me.  You stood there and watched!"
                                                                                       -Mark

Anyone who knows me knows that I am at once terrified of aliens and also completely fascinated by them.  The same goes for alien flicks.  I'm sure I've recounted various stories about watching flicks like Fire in the Sky and Communion here before.....and I'm sure I will get around to reviewing those films as well.  With the Roswell UFO Crash Anniversary having just past (July 8th was the 67th anniversary of the crash), what better time to tell you about this hybrid film.  Part freaky abduction flick, part straight up slasher film, Almost Human was a pleasant surprise for me.

There's only so much "Play That Funky Music, Whiteboy" you can listen to, ya know?

Yeah...that's not okay.

The film starts out in full on "aliens abducting and stalking people" mode.  A guy named Seth rushes to his friend Marks house babbling about lights that took their friend, Rob.  He keeps repeating "They're coming" over and over and looking worriedly out the window.  Mark, not sure what to think of his incoherent friend grabs his rifle and is ready to go search for Rob when the aliens arrive.  The power cuts out.  An excruciating noise incapacitates Seth and Mark's girlfriend Jen.  Mark meanwhile seems to go into a trance and walks out the front door.  A brilliant beam of blue light hits him and he vanishes without a trace.

Alien Mark arrives in the woods....

Jen is trying to move on with her life

Fast forward two years and Seth isn't doing so well.  He's plagued by nightmares and he mental condition is deteriorated.  People are starting to see lights in the sky, just like they did two years ago and Seth's got a bad feeling.  He goes to the diner that Jen works at to warn her.  Naturally she doesn't believe him and has spent the past two years convincing herself that she is unsure of what she saw the night Mark vanished.  She's tried to move on and has a new man in her life now.

Unfortunately for Jen and everyone else, Seth is correct.  Something bad IS coming.  Mark is back.....only he's not the same.   He's not human and he's on a murderous mission.  When two hunters come across Mark's naked body in the woods, they are quickly killed and their clothes stolen.  Mark then makes his way to an out of the way gas station, killing a customer as well as the owner.  He stuffs both bodies in the truck and takes off towards town.

Yep.  He's dead.

Little bits like this news broadcast really add to the creepy vibe

The stalk and slash continues as Alien Mark reaches town and goes to his former house, which does not bode well for the present owners.  It is here that we finally learn what Alien Mark's plan is here, which I will leave for you to discover on your own.  I WILL say that it's not horribly original, but hey.....why mess with the tried and true, right?

Naked and goopy.  Either she's run into aliens or is the start of a bukkake video...

Almost Human is a pretty short film.  80 minutes including title and end credits.  The end credits themselves run at 8 minutes, which writer/director Joe Begos stated that this was to pad out the film to "feature length" for certain festival circuits.  If you sit through the credits, however (or fast forward through them like I did) you will be rewarded with an extra scene.

GORE:  They don't shy away from the red stuff here.  There are some nasty ax murders as well as rifle and shotgun wounds.  There's also some extraterrestrial grue on display here, so you bodily fluid freaks should be pretty happy!

T&A:  There are one pair of breasts on display here, though they're not exactly very titillating, being all covered in alien goop and such.  There is also some naked male butts on display....but again, covered in alien goop.

MONSTERS:  The aliens that do the abducting and such are never shown.  Even in the black and white flash backs  that show Mark aboard the UFO, you never actually see any aliens.  Alien Mark (as I came to call him) looks like a normal human, but he has a wicked space scream (kinda like the pod people in the '78 version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers) and he's also got some sort of alien proboscis that comes out of his mouth which he uses for.....well....you'll see.

Seth is looking a little unhinged.

Final Thoughts:
Almost Human rides a fine line, which is not easy to do.  It handle's it's alien aspects as well as it's slasher components very well.  There is a terrific creepy vibe that the film is able to create in it's opening moments that manages to stay with the film throughout the running time.  Sure there are parts of it that are a bit wonky and silly, but it all adds to the charm of the whole thing.  This is a solid B-movie and you can't go wrong spending 80 minutes with it.

Final Rating
FOUR OUT OF FIVE PIZZA ROLLS