The Chill Factor - Demonic Slasher on Ice

The Chill Factor
1993
D: Christopher Webster
W: Julian Weaver

S: Dawn Laurrie, Aaron Kjenaas, Connie Snyder
Rated R - Approx 93 Minutes


Taglines:
Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the slopes.....

Alternate Titles:
Demon Possessed








"Stop whining you stupid girl, we have to get Tom to a hospital!"

It's late on a Thursday night.  The Mrs is in bed and I'm already in a few cocktails on my way to feeling pretty nice.  Sure, I could pop in a Night Flight disc and lose myself in a sea of ancient and obscure music videos but instead I'm feeling the urge to watch some ancient and obscure horror flicks.  And so, I delve down the Amazon Instant Video rabbit hole.....down past the usual suspects (World War Z, Leprechaun, etc) and down to the bottom of the digital barrel.  The place you can only reach by clicking the "Customers Also Watched" section.   Seriously.  How did they also watch these flicks?  They pop up NOWHERE else!  It's quite amazing, really.

 

That;s where this film lives.  This time up we're taking a look at a little supernatural slasher gem called The Chill Factor.  Apparently it's also known as the more blasé title Demon Possessed, which I think is an absolute crap title.  I mean, The Chill Factor is such a flavorful yet ambiguous title.  Is it referring to actual temperature or frightful chills?  An intriguing question!  If you were watching under the Demon Possessed moniker, you would pretty much know what you were getting (though not really, but kinda sorta in this case...we'll talk about that in a bit.).

See, there's a group of friends who go on a snowmobile trip up north.  While they are enjoying a meal and some brewskies, two of the fellas get into an argument about who's snowmobile is faster.  You know, real meaningful stuff.  They ask the waitress, who gets shit done (according to her hat), where they would be able to find some wide open land to race their machines and definitively determine who's the king of superfluous seasonal vehicles.  They're told about Black Friar Lake (which apparently the locals have shortened to just Black Lake) which sounds like a perfect place to race crotch rockets attached to skis!

I know that this is going to come as a shock to you, but one of the lads is injured during their race.  He hits a rather nasty snow mound and catapults himself into a tree, sustaining some considerable injury.   Being that the group is something like 30 miles from town, the seek shelter at an old summer camp.  After assessing their friend, one of them decides to go back to town to get help.  The others stay behind to watch over their wounded friend.  This is where they find the dumbest looking Ouija Board I've ever seen.  They decide to use it to "kill time" and end up summoning up a demon that possesses their unconscious friend. 

So now this guys laying on a bench in front of a fire and he miraculously wakes up.  Everyone's all super excited.  Of course they don't pick up on the fact that he's acting strange.  This is where the film becomes a slasher as the possessed guy kills off his friends.  Well, sort of.  He actually just lays there all bandaged up on the bench while stuff happens to his friends, but it's insinuated that he's the cause when the camera pans to a close-up of him with a goofy evil smirk on his face.  Though we do see the shadow of a robed figure with long, bony fingers with sharp fingernails stalking the victims.  I'll go more into the various killings when I run the tally at the end of the review.

I was rather surprised by this film.  I went into this expecting bottom of the barrel production values, bad acting and laughable effects.  I pretty much got what I was expecting, but I wasn't counting of the fact that it was all going to coalesce into a charming, quirky trashterpiece that will definitely become a staple in my winter horror flick rotation.  The music is a cross between an After School TV Special and someone rocking out on their Casio keyboard in the basement.  The wonky dialog is accentuated by the hilariously terrible acting (see the quote that begins this review).  The cinematography is pretty straightforward but there are a few nice shots once the gang is in the camp.

Gore
There's a decent amount of blood in this one, yet it still manages to be tame.  For your money you get a snowmobile accident resulting in a bloody face and severely lacerated hand.  A guy on a snowmobile catching a face full of barbed wire, a strangulation, an icicle through the eye and  a few more kills to boot.

T&A
There's a little skin on display here too!  Not a ton, but we do get to see two different girls in their bra & panties, some side boob and a brief flash of nipple.  Hey, it's better than nothing, right?

Monsters


Well, there's the shadowy figure that I'm guessing is the demon that is doing the possessing.  There's also the guy who gets possessed. 

Final Thoughts
This would make a great winter afternoon flick.  Especially if you ran it as a double feature with They (aka. Invasion From Inner Earth).  Picture it:  The afternoon sun is hanging lazily in the sky casting it's golden light on the white snow while prisms of light dance on the wall courtesy of the icicles hanging outside your window.  There's some chili that's been simmering on the stove all afternoon and a nice warm fire in the fireplace.  You are snuggled up next to your significant other (or favorite pet....I don't judge) on the couch....all while a chilly doubly shot of questionable horror plays across your television screen.  If that isn't a slice on Heaven on Earth, I don't know what is!

The Alien Factor - Extraterrestrial Zoo Escape

The Alien Factor
1978
Directed by Don Dohler
Written by Don Dohler
Starring: Don Leifert, Tom Griffith & Richard Dyszel 

Unrated - Approx. 80 Minutes
Cinemagic

Taglines:
- They brought terror from beyond our galaxy!

Alternate Titles:

Skrekken fra rommet (Terror from the Room) Norway

"She's in shock, Bert, she didn't say ANYTHING!"

                                                                             - Sheriff Cinder

 I love Regional Horror.  To me there's nothing better than when a group of people get themselves together and make a movie simply because they love doing it.  There is an immediate tactile sense to the whole thing, and for my money Hollywood can never beat it.  Even more so, I love the films of Don Dohler.  You can tell that he absolutely loves his films....almost to a fault.  I'm getting ahead of myself though.

That's an interesting spacecraft you got there......not very aerodynamic though...

Aliens wear jeans apparently....

The Alien Factor starts with a young couple making out in their car, which is parked in a field in the middle of winter during the day.  As if that isn't odd enough, an insectoid alien drags the guy out of his car window and mauls him...the girl booking it and getting out of dodge, leaving Romeo behind to get the ol' extraterrestrial pulled pork treatment.  

The local Sheriff thinks that it's a wild animal attack.  He brings the girl and her mangled boyfriend to (I guess) the local hospital (which looks suspiciously like someones house) where a doctor and her assistant (George Stover!) perform an autopsy on the body.  Meanwhile, Mayor Wicker (who is apparently not respected by anyone because they all just call him Bert) is worried that this is going to affect his entertainment park plans for the town.  

What's an alien flick without rednecks going out to hunt them?

There are more mysterious deaths including a fella who is apparently rapidly aged.  Dr Sherman thinks that it may be an advanced case of Progeria (a disease that appears to rapidly age it's victims).  We know better though, because we've seen the insectoid alien as well as a tall furry thing with pincers in it's mouth.  Ew.  

Enter Ben Zachary, a mysterious fellow who offers to help, claiming that he studies the occult, extraterrestrials, etc.  With no other ideas or options, Bert....er...Mayor Wicker and Sheriff Cinder employ his help, hoping to rid themselves of this menace.  The Sheriff and Zachary hike out into the woods and discover the downed UFO.  Zachary then starts to receive a psychic message from an alien that's lying dying nearby.  The alien divulges information about the escaped creatures.  At this point Zachary tells the Mayor and Sheriff that he can rid them of the alien problem, but he has to work alone.  

The Insectoid Alien says HELLO!!!!!!

Bigfoot is an understatment!  Look at the size of those things!

Supposedly the deadliest of the aliens....also the cutest.

The ending of the movie is cliched on one hand....but I also didn't see it coming the first time I watched it way back when.  I'm not sure if that's due to the fact that I was watching it at 3am or if the acting is so stiff and wonky that you just can't read emotions, but at any rate....it caught me off guard the first time.

A word of warning:  The Alien Factor is not a film for beginners.  What I mean is this:  If you are a lover of "bad" movies, there's a lot to love here.  Everything from the creative low budget alien effects to the hilariously over the top 70's band performing in a local bar is a B to Z Grade movie buff's dream.  If you are just getting into it though, you may want to get your feet wet with another film.  The Alien Factor can be quite talky at times.  Then there's the extended shots of people running around the Maryland woods in the middle of winter.  You really get a sense that Dohler was in love with the images he had put on scene and was reluctant to cut them from the film...hence you have a three minute sequence of someone just wandering around the woods.  This is what I meant when I said that he may have loved his films to a fault.

If I was Sheriff....I'd rock out bad-ass sideburns too!

Ooooh, Bert.  

The Mysterious Mr. Zachary.

GORE:

There's not a whole heck of a lot of the red stuff, but there are a few dead bodies hanging around.  The guy who get's his lifeforce sucked out (that's the progeria looking guy) is pretty cool.  There's a few shots of the red stuff here and there, but not a whole heck of a lot.

T&A:

Sorry guys, there's more flesh on display in most Disney movies.

MONSTERS:

The whole reason to watch this flick!  The aliens are all varied and pretty cool.  The insectoid is a humanoid bug.  It's a like a very low budget precursor to the Judas Roaches in Mimic!  Then there's the big furry one.  He's got goat like legs (though the feet are big weird three toed thingies) and sorta looks like Bigfoot had a love child with a bug.  There's an alien that looks like a Sasquatch got turned inside out and then put on a pair of jeans (!?) and finally a giant lizard type alien that is stop motion animated in the film.

I want to be in this band in the worst way

FINAL THOUGHTS

As I said above, this one is a little rough going in parts and I wouldn't recommend it for bad film novices.  However, if you love these types of films and you want to see some truly wonky acting and some good ol' fashioned cinematic ingenuity (some of the forced perspective shots of the UFO's are really very good) then you can't go wrong.  You've gotta love the sheer wackiness of the whole thing.  Also, there's that awesome band.  

FINAL RATING

THREE OUT OF FIVE PIZZA ROLLS

SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woodchipper Massacre - Home Alone Hack 'Em Up

Woodchipper Massacre
1988
Directed by Jon McBride
Written by Jon McBride (idea by Glen Skaggs)
Starring Jon McBride, Denice Edeale & Tom Casiello

Not Rated - Runtime Approx 80 Min


Tagline:
- How much flesh could a woodchipper chip, if a woodchipper could chip flesh?


Alternate Titles:
None






"Aunt Tess was right...once you start working with meat, it's not that bad!"
                                                                                                                      - Denice

There is nothing that I don't love about this!

Woodchipper Massacre is a fun little SOV horror flick that's played more for laughs than anything.  It starts with a little text scroll telling us about the amount of unsolved murders and disappearances in the U.S. and then kindly informs us that this is such a story.

Tom and Denice in all their 80's glory.  Rock that sweater Denice!

I really had a good time with this one.  It's got all the hallmarks of a great SOV horror flick.  The acting is absolutely horrendous;  the special effects are pretty wonky, yet still fun (though they are quite minimal for a film with MASSACRE in the title!); and there is a lot of regional charm shining through.

Dad shares some expository dialog with Jon

He must be going to an Ugly Sweater Party....

Jon (played by McBride) and his two younger siblings Denice and Tom are left in the care of their militant Aunt Tess for the weekend because their father is going on a business trip.  Right off the bat things are bad when Aunt Tess arrives.  She's a self righteous old pip who you would expect to see yelling at kids to get off of her lawn.  She completely takes over the house and regardless of whatever rules their father had in place, Aunt Tess had her own set of rules that will be obeyed at all times.....or else!

Ngyaaah!  RUN!  It's Aunt Tess!!!!!!!!!

Things continue on with Aunt Tess insulting and berating the kids, calling them stupid, ignorant, slobs and any number of other things.  Jon isn't allowed to go on a date with his girlfriend.  The kids aren't allowed to watch a horror movie on TV, forced to clean and do ridiculous chores, etc.  When Tom finally receives his official Rambo Survival Knife that he's been waiting to get for six weeks, Aunt Tess tries to take it away from him.  He defies her and in the struggle, Aunt Tess gets the business end of the knife and dies.

Looks like all work and no play is what Aunt Tess has in store for Jon.

Aunt Tess wags a knife at Denice as she shows her how to prepare meat.  Ironic, isn't it?

Aunt Tess show have just let Tom keep his knife.

Rather than telling anyone what happened, the kids decide to dispose of Aunt Tess in the woodchipper and tell their Dad that she left early before he came home.  This is where things start getting fun.  They decide that it might not work just throwing her in whole.  After all, she's all soft and the woodchipper is designed to chip up hard material like wood.  So what do they do?  Hack her up and put her in the freezer for a few hours, that's what!  With Aunt Tess freshly frozen solid, the three then proceed to toss her body parts in the chipper one by one.

"Oh no!  Aunt Tess is dead!  What do we do?"
 "To the woodchipper!"

"First we'll have to do some trimming...."

The last of Aunt Tess gets dropped in the chipper.....

Thinking that they've cleaned up their mess the kids go about their weekend.  Things are going fine until Aunt Tess' delinquent, druggy son shows up demanding money.  Well, clearly he can't stay around, so it's back to the woodchipper for another round of chew 'em up.

The fact that the whole thing is presented more as a straight out comedy is what makes the whole thing work.  The only thing missing is a canned sitcom laugh track.  Though the subject matter would be extremely dark in someone else's hands, Jon McBride infuses a real sense of fun into the film.  Watching the kids try to clean everything up and "beat the clock" before their father comes home brings to mind any number of teen comedies from the 80's.

Cousin Kim stops by for an unscheduled visit

I guess we'll see on the chipper handles soft flesh now!

Pretty darn well, apparently!

Woodchipper Massacre was shot on a SUPER VHS camcorder on a budget of $400 in Connecticut, with most of that budget going into the woodchipper rental.  The fact that a film literally shot in Jon's backyard with a consumer grade camcorder and some local theater folks found worldwide distribution is pretty amazing.  Films like this paved the way for others in the SOV field and to this day many a backyard filmmaker owes a debt to Jon McBride.

Midnight Cinephile Tally

Death Toll:  Two!  Not exactly a massacre.....but hey who am I to nitpick?

Nude O Meter:  Not even the slightest bit of skin.

Things That Go Bump In The Night:  I think Aunt Tess would fall into this category.  Good God that woman was a miserable clam!

Final Thoughts
As I said before, I had a lot of fun with this film.  Sure there's only two deaths and the story may run a bit slow at time, but you'll be see busy laughing at the scene chewing that is running rampant you won't notice.  Oh, I almost forget to mention, Aunt Tess is played by non other than Jon McBride's Mom!  How awesome is that?  If you've yet to see this one, do so immediately!

Final Rating
Four out of Five Pizza Rolls