Monday, June 15, 2015

Bethesda Releases New Trailer for Doom!

If there's one thing that I love almost as much as movies, It's video games.  I've been in love with games since the Atari 2600 days.  Naturally my favorite games are the ones that slant in the horror direction.  One of my longtime favorites has always been the groundbreaking Doom series.  Since ID Software first unleashed it upon the masses in 1993, I've been a massive fan of the Hell on Mars FPS series.  

Those of you who are fellow video game fans know that this is E3 week (for those who may not know, it's the biggest week in gaming) and Bethesda launched it's first ever press conference last night showcasing such amazing looking games as Fallout 4 and Dishounoured 2.  For me, however Doom stole the show.  While this is the 4th game in the series, oddly instead of being titled Doom 4 or even giving it a subtitle, it's simply branded as the original was: DOOM.  

So in case you missed it, here's the new Doom trailer!

Are psyched outta your mind to play Doom again on PS4, XBOX ONE or PC?  

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland - Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Camp.....Again!

Sleepaway Camp III:
Teenage Wasteland
D: Michael A. Simpson
W: Fritz Gordon & Robert Hilzik
S: Pamela Springsteen, Tracy Griffith, Michael J. Pollard
Rated R - Approx. 80 Min.
Double Helix Films

 - She's back to Slash last year's record.

Alternate Titles:
Nightmare Vacation III (USA)
Sinister Camp 3 (Brazil)
Bloody Camp 3(Spain)
Dormant Camp 3:  Teenage Waste (Poland)
The Camp of Terror 3 (West Germany)

"Good thing you're dead 'cause in a couple of years your breasts would have been sagging something terrible!"

As I mentioned in the last review Parts II & III of the Sleepaway Camp series were shot back to back in six weeks.  Sure it may mean that it was a bit of a rushed production, but we're not talking about Gone With The Wind here.  The Sleepaway Camp sequels were done fast, cheap and by the seat of everyone's pants and you know what?  I wouldn't have it any other way!

This round we find Angela assuming the identity of an inner city youth (That she runs over with a dump truck in the middle of a large city in the middle of the day!).  Camp New Horizons has been built upon the ruins of Camp Rolling Hill (it's kinda hard to keep a business open when all of your clients end up dead!) and it's mission is to group privileged kids with under privileged kids in an effort to teach diversity and understanding.

The camp is run by an older couple named Herman & Lilly.  Ha ha, get it?  Like as in The Munsters!  As a matter of fact this go around everyone seems to be named either after characters from The Munsters, The Brady Bunch or (strangest of all) West Side Story!  Tony, Maria, Anita, Marcia, Bobby, Peter......they're all here and they're all fodder for Angela!

Herman is played by Michael J. Pollard, who you may recognize from bit parts he played in Scrooged, House of 1,000 Corpses as well as being the voice of Psycho on The Toxic Crusaders cartoon.  He's a dirty old pervert in this flick, so you KNOW he ain't gonna last long!

Also on hand as a counselor is Barney, who was one of the arresting officers during Angela's first killing spree.  He doesn't recognize her due to the fact that she is older and she's had.....erm.....well let's just say surgery, so as not to spoil the first film.  

The campers are split into three different groups (there are 12 campers in all) four per counselor.  This makes it especially easy for Angela to move back and forth between groups, taking out her victims without anyone becoming the wiser.  The body count is up in the teens again as is the flesh on display.  Boobs and blood...ya just gotta have 'em in these types of flicks, ya know?
Just as Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers was a tongue in cheek horror flick, the same goes for part three.  Absolutely nothing in this film should be taken seriously.

So long as you're not looking for anything new in this one, you'll have a good time.  It follows a formula:  Most of the campers are absolutely despicable people that you don't give a rats ass for.  A few are okay and there's usually one or two that are likable (and are usually the final girl).  Angela is still making her quips and one liners with each kill, which are rather amusing.  Such as the quote listed before the review started.

Not as much as in Part II, but there's still a fair amount of blood.

Well, of course!

Angela's hairdo is pretty terrible in this one.....I guess you could say it's monstrous!

The Sleepaway Camp films make for a fine rainy afternoon or even better Friday night with pizza, beer and friends.  If you're a fan of the Friday the 13th flicks, the Meatball sequels or camping flicks in general, there's a high probability that you'll find something to like here.

Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers - Return of the Campy Slasher

Sleepaway Camp II:  Unhappy Campers
D: Michael Simpson
W: Fritz Gordon & Robert Hiltzik
S: Pamela Springsteen,  Renée Estevez, Tony Higgins
Rate R - Approx. 80 Minutes
Double Helix Films

 - ...and they thought it was just another ghost story!
 - When you go camping just take the essentials

Alternate Titles:
Nightmare Vacation II
Sinister Camp II (Brazil)
Bloody Camp II (Spain)
Nightmarish Vacation (Greece)
Angel of Death II (Hungary)
Dormant Camp 2: Sad Campers (Poland)
Eternal Dream Camp II: Unhappy Campers (Russia)
The Camp of Horror II (West Germany)

" Too bad they haven't figured out a way to make french fries nutritious. I'm a NUT when it comes to french fries!"

If you are reading this then I would think that it's safe to assume that you have seen the original Sleepaway Camp.....but in the event that we've got a few stragglers, I will avoid spoiling the shock ending of the first film.  But seriously, if you haven't seen it, you really should rectify that immediately.

Sleepaway Camp II is exactly my cup of tea.  I've got a soft spot for camp movies, especially when they're horror films.  Having grown up and lived in New England my entire life, I've spent a good amount of time in the woods and wilderness and the rustic vibe that these types of films put out just warm the cockles of my heart.  Plus it's just fun to watch teens get slashed up at camp.

Can't have a camp flick without a campfire tale!

Spying on the girls is always fun.......

Now it's going to be impossible to avoid ALL spoilers for the first film, so if you don't want to know ANYTHING, then now would be a good time to stop reading until you're all caught up!

Okay, we good now?


So, we find ourselves at Camp Rolling Hills and Angela (who killed everyone in the first film) is now a camp counselor.  She's been through extensive psychiatric care and rehabilitation and is all better.  Things are going great.  Until she perceives that the teens at camp are misbehaving....then the killings start all over again.  That is the interesting thing with Angela.  Her M.O. is killing kids whom she perceives to be doing bad things:  Having sex, doing drugs, acting like normal teenagers.  That's how so got her nickname in the first film:  The Angel of Death.  She's kinda a holier than thou type when it comes to morals.

Guess it runs in the family!

There's always gotta be at least one attention whore

The kills are all pretty fun.  There's decapitations, hangings, death by battery acid, power name it.  The body count is rather impressive as well.....Angel certainly is not shy about murdering teens!  After a teen is murdered, they're hidden away and to explain their disappearance, Angela states that she had to send them home for bad behavior.  By the end of the film, there aren't a whole lot of campers left and she's still using the same excuse.  It's rather comical.

Sleepaway Camp is played out as a horror-comedy.  Never shying away from the gore, the film also keeps the dialog light and cheesy, especially as Angela quips one liners after (or during) many of her kills.  The film has fun in other ways, for example all the characters are named after popular 80's teen actors.....Molly (Ringwald), Ally (Sheedy), Demi (Moore), Anthony (Michael Hall), etc.  There are two characters named Charlie and Emilio (obviously for Sheen and Estevez) which is kinda cool when you realize that Molly is played by Renee Estevez, their sister!  Speaking of actors having famous siblings, Angela is played by Pamela Springsteen...sister to none other than The Boss himself!  Yep, Bruce Springsteen's baby sister is a slasher!

Smoking is bad for you.  You're FIRED!

Me thinks someone wandered in from a different film....

If you dig camp flicks....especially slasher camp flicks then you'll definitely dig Sleepaway Camp II.  Just know what you're getting into.  This is a low budget slasher flick.  It's MEANT to be silly, stupid and campy.  Pun intended.  The film was shot back to back with Sleepaway Camp III:  Teenage Wasteland, which is kinda cool because the two sequels share a very similar vibe.

Oh yeah, there's plenty of the red stuff flowing here.  As I mentioned before the body count is pretty high.  I don't have an exact number but it's definitely in the teens.  Not bad, Angela!

Ya can't have a camp flick without T&A!  There's plenty of skin on display here, so you boob lovers will be all set.

Just your average camp counselor psychopath knocking off horny young teens!

Getting drowned in the outhouse is a shitty way to go!

Peeping Toms get their eyes gouged out!
I had a hell of a lot of fun with this flick (and it's sequel, which I will cover next).  Both can be found and watched on Netflix streaming (and of course you can rent the discs from Netflix as well) and Amazon Instant Video.  Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some camp songs to learn........

Friday, June 5, 2015

Kung Fury - 80's Action Awesomeness

Kung Fury
D: David Sandberg
W: David Sandberg

S: David Sandberg, Jorma Taccone, Steven Chew 
Not Rated - Approx 30 Min.
Lampray/Laser Unicorns

 - It takes a cop from the future to fight an enemy from the past.

Alternate Titles:
Кунг Фьюри - Russia

"Just then, I was struck by lightning and bitten by a cobra...."
                                                                                         -Kung Fury

Holy shit!  Those two simple words came out of my mouth about fifty seven times within the thirty minute runtime of Kung Fury.  Right out of the gate, it's balls to the wall retro 80's action and awesomeness.  To simply say that Kung Fury is a love letter to 80's action flicks is like saying that beer is good.  It's a pretty generic statement and it does it no justice.

You know how much I love VHS.  You know how much YOU love VHS.  We all love VHS.  Especially the amazing box art.  That box art has been discussed a zillion times here and will be discussed a million more.  If you're over 30 then no doubt, you remember walking down the aisles of your local video store, leering at the lurid box art making promises that it can never hope to keep.  Well, Kung Fury takes all of those broken promises and crams them into a 30 minute 80's action fever dream.

Kung Fury takes place in 1985 and is about a cop that becomes a super-kung-fu-cop after being struck by lightning and bitten by a cobra at the same time (while chasing a mysterious kung fu master criminal who kills his partner).  Holy shit, just writing that last line gave me goose bumps.  After the lightning/cobra combo, he becomes Kung Fury!

I'm not going to give away too much of the plot here because quite frankly, you've just gotta experience this for yourselves!  I could tell you all about encounters to machine gun toting, dinosaur riding viking women or Laser Raptors (you know...Velociraptors who shoot muther-fucking laser beams from their eyes!), but you really just have to see it for yourself.  I could tell you about Kung Fury's partner, Triceracop....a anthropomorphic bipedal British dinosaur cop, but honestly I can't even begin to do it justice.  There's even a gawddamn 80's style animated segment!

Not only do I not want to give too much away in the review, but this is going to be a complete nightmare for me getting screen shots.  I wanna show you EVERYTHING.....but I don't want to ruin the amazingly awesome awesomeness of awesometivity that is Kung Fury.  I will tell you this much, we're introduced to KF when a Laser Unicorn arcade machine comes to life (Transformers style) and starts fucking up town hardcore.  Kung Fury rides into the rescue fighting the unruly arcade machine across the city before finally putting a bullet in it's CPU.  WHOLE-LEE-SHIT!

You can count me among the legion of growing fans of writer/director David Sandberg.  I can't wait to see what he has up his sleeve next!  Meanwhile I'm going to go and watch Kung Fury fifty more times today.  You should do the same!

Gore?  You want gore?  We got ya covered!  Multitudes of exploding heads, exploding bodies and a body sliced in half all kinda other groovy effects!

Sorry gang, nobody gets nekkid here.

So many creatures and things here!  Killer Arcade Machine, Laser Raptors, T-Rex.....and more!

Final Thoughts
Go and watch this film IMMEDIATELY!  GO!  NOW!

Seriously, stop reading this and go and watch it.