Monday, July 14, 2014

Prime Time - Boob Tube Shenanigans

Prime Time
Directed by - Bradley R. Swirnoff

Written by -  John Baskin, Stephen Feinberg & Roger Shulman
Starring -  Royce D. Applegate, Joanna Cassidy & Twink Caplan

 - Non-stop Laughs
 - The Movie That Grabs TV By The Dials And Won't Let Go!

Alternative Titles:
Pähkähullu USA (Mad Hatter USA)  Finland

América Divertida (America Fun)  Portugal

"I don't care WHAT you are....I'm gonna fuck ya!"
                                                                  -Truck Driver
In the words of Freddy Krueger:  "Welcome to Prime Time, Bitch!"

I don't think that it's a surprise to anyone who has read Midnight Cinephile that I'm a huge fan of trash.  I love the obscure, the esoteric and the sublimely ridiculous.  So naturally when I came across this little gem, I was smitten immediately.  Prime Time is one of those films that manages to perfectly capture the essence of Midnight Cinephile.  Much like Kentucky Fried Movie and Amazon Women on the Moon, Prime Time is less of a movie and more of a 90 minute sketch comedy show loosely held together by the thinnest of plots.

This sounds like something I would come across on late night cable.

It seems that the television airwaves around the globe have been taken over by an unknown force and regular programming has been replaced with cheeky, raunchy and sometimes tasteless programming.  In other words, it's like I took over television.  The segments range from commercials for humorous products to parody news reports and spoofs of television shows.

Those pants are ass-less.  Trust me on this.

Some of the more memorable segments include what is quite possibly the most tasteless (read funny but wrong) ads for a television event:  Celebrity Sportsman Presents -  The Charles Whitman Invitational!  I'm not going to lie, I chuckled at the absurdity of the segment, especially when the hunters were tying their kills to their SUV.  Even though I chuckled, I couldn't help but feel that the boundaries of tact were pushed quite a bit there.   In case you don't remember who Charles Whitman is....he was the former marine who climbed to the top of the clock tower at the University of Texas and went on a shooting spree, killing 16 people and wounding 32 others before being shot and killed by police on August 1, 1966.  It was the deadliest school shooting until the Virginia Tech Massacre in 2007.

Other segments include what at first appears to be a human interest story about a mailman who had defied the odds and still delivered the mail despite losing both his legs by rolling himself along on a custom platform using his hands.  Unfortunately things go wrong when he encounters a hill and the announcers informs us that we should Fire The Handicapped.

One of the many public service announcements....

Among the fake tv show promos there's Frontier Gynecologist, which sounds pretty damn wrong, though the image of a man giving a gynecological exam to a woman while they are both riding on the same horse was pretty amusing.  The Shitheads is a take on hidden camera shows where buckets of excrement are dumped on unsuspecting strangers and The Paranoids is a sitcom spoof about a couple who are....well....paranoid.

I sure hope she's insured.....

False product commercials range from Misty Morning Douche (which comes in two scents:  Rose and Herring!), Mamorex Cassette Tapes....which incorporates Nazi "humor" (I use the term humor loosely here), and of course Clampax (which features a hilarious tutorial for women on how to insert a Clampax).

There isn't much in the way of blood here, despite the above mentioned Charles Whitman Invitational.  There are several dead bodies on display, though.  Everything is played out for humor.

There is some 70's T&A to be found here, but not much.  A couple of pairs of breasts and a brief glimpse of bush are about all your gonna see here.

 No monsters here, kiddies.  Though there is an apparent serial killer posing as a pitch man for laundry there's that.

Do I really need to say  ANYTHING here?  No, I didn't think so.

This is one of those flicks that would work out great for a party.  Just running the absurdity in the background can add a fun ambiance to the festivities.  It would also be a fun flick to spring on your friends for movie night (so long as your friends have a good sense of humor!)  If you're into the weird and wacky, then you'll find a lot to like here.  I'll be quoting lines from this film for a good long time.



  1. Do you have a standalone disc of this? I seem to recall it surfacing on a Mill Creek set somewhere along the way. I buy them for my mother because she watched movies voraciously, and she couldn't care less about AV quality. I can't believe you made "douche" a label. I clicked on it, and it failed to turn up any further douche related content. Where, now, will I turn for my new douche related content? You're a douche tease.

  2. Sadly I do not have a stand alone disc on this one.....yet! There is one available from Synergy. I'm thinking about picking up a copy....I saw it on Amazon for $9.99. The version I have is the Mill Creak Drive In Movie 50 pack. If you ask me, the crap AV quality really adds to stuff like this. I don't think it would be nearly as awesome if it was in 16:9 anthropomorphic widescreen! As a matter of fact, I want to get a small CRTV just to watch old stuff like this on a crummy little DVD/VHS combo machine. THAT is retro goodness right there!

    I didn't realize that I had made a "douche" label until after I published the post....but now that I have it, I'm damn glad! I'm also inspired to add more content that will quench your desire for more douche related content! I aim to please here, ya know!

    1. I actually have one of those DVD/VHS combo machines in my bedroom. I sell consumer electronics for a living, and we do recycling. I grab up a lot of old school shit just on general principle - i.e. if it still works, I can't in good conscience let it go to recycling. I've yet to luck into a laserdisc player, which is my holy grail. Well, that or a top loading beta machine. Fingers crossed.

    2. I've got a DVD/VHS combo too, though I actually managed to find a new model at Best Buy a couple years ago....I was shocked to find that Toshiba still made them!

      I would do the same thing....I can't stand to see old tech that still works go to waste. Someday, when we manage to move out of our tiny condo, I'm going to have an entire room dedicated strictly to old school tech....VCR's, CRTV's, Laserdisc, Beta, etc. I've been hunting for a Laserdisc player for what seems like of these days a flea market will pay off, I can feel it! Top loading Beta would be sweet too!

      There is something that is so tactile and awesome about watching movies on old formats like that. Don't get me wrong, I love Blu Ray and ultra HD as much as the next guy.....but man, NOTHING beats watching an old gory flick on analog!