Monday, March 26, 2012
Killer Klowns From Outer Space
In Space, No One Can Eat Ice Cream!!!!!
My younger sister is permanently damaged because of this movie. Well, okay maybe it's really more my fault for letting her watch it when she was only 4, but hey, let's not split hairs here! The Chiodo Brother's quintessential 80's sci-fi schlock classic is one of my all time favorite films.
I was first introduced to the magic that is Killer Klowns one summer evening when I was in 7th Grade. I had just recently gotten my parents old UHF Zenith TV in my bedroom, which I had hooked my Nintendo up to. It was a Saturday night and I had finally tired of playing Castlevania (my all time favorite NES game.....). I flipped through my available UHF stations (the TV even had bunny ears....though we had cable downstairs...) and came across the Klowns for the first time on Channel 68....which was an odd station that used to show old reruns of stuff like The Andy Griffith Show, I Dream of Jeannie and Bewitched during the daytime hours and at night they show old reruns of The Twilight Zone, Night Gallery and Lost in Space as well as the odd movie here or there. That night the 8o'clock movie was Killer Klowns. Of course, this was a UHF station, so the film was edited for time and content. I thought it was absolutely hilarious and a bit creepy at the same time.
Not long after seeing it on Channel 68, it aired on the Sci-Fi Channel on their Sunday afternoon Moonlight Matinee. Probably not the best idea to put it on with my young sister in the room. She watched about 10 minutes of the movie and ran out screaming and crying. To this day when she see's a clown, she almost cries. Heh, heh, heh.
If you are unfamiliar with this movie.....it's just as the title explains. Aliens from outer space that resemble evil clowns come to earth to collect humans in cotton candy cocoons. Once your enveloped in the cotton candy, you start to liquify and the Klowns will drink drink you with a giant crazy straw. When I say crazy straw, I mean CUH-RAZY STRAW! The thing is nuts! I wanted one in the worst way.
The film starts with Ol' Farmer Green sittin' out on his porch reading about Haley's Comet just as a fireball passes overhead and crashes in the woods. Well, Ol' Farmer Green decides that he's gonna git himself rich! He grabs Pooh-Bear (his dog) and sets out to go get himself the comet. Well, instead of finding paydirt, he comes across a circus tent....hhhmmm...suspicious! Farmer Green and Pooh-Bear are the first Kasualties. Heh, heh....see what I did there?
Mike and Debbie are up at lovers land, enjoying the evening in the back of Mike's SUV.....in an inflatable raft...with...champagne. Sure, why not, right? Anywhoo....the Terrenzi Brother's come up to Lover's Lane in their ice cream truck with a giant clown head on it. Gee....could that come into play later? I wonder.....
Anyway, Debbie wants to go check out the "Shooting Star" that they saw and convinces Mike to go. They also come across the tent and we get our first glance of the inside. It ain't no normal funhouse kids!
Well Mike and Debbie escape and go to town to warn the police. As it just so happens, Debbie's ex, Dave, is a cop and he's on duty that night with Officer Mooney (The always incredible John Vernon), a burnt out hard ass who treats everyone like a hostile suspect. Dave agrees to follow them back to the Tent/UFO and when they get there....lo and behold, it's gone and there's just a hole in the ground.
The Klowns start their invasion of suburbia, capturing humans and spinning them into the cotton candy cocoons. There are some truly creepy moments in the film, such as a scene in which a little girl is having her birthday party at a local burger joint. A rather nasty Klown lurks outside, beckoning to her. She slips away from the table, eager to play with the Klown....but we see what really is about to happen. Behind the Klowns back is a giant sledgehammer (painted like an easter egg, natch.). The little girls is pulled away from the door and told to eat her dinner before she plays, her mother narrowly saving her life and not even knowing it.
Another fantastic scene involves a group of people waiting at a bus stop and a Klown entertaining them with some shadow puppets before Kollecting (I did it again!) them in a very unique way!
Apparently Killer Klowns 2 is coming down the pike this year as well, so keep checking back for more info on that!
If you haven't seen this movie then run, don't walk to your nearest DVD/Blu Ray/VHS/Betamax retailer and get yourself a copy of this film! Do it now, the Mighty JoJo commands you!