Friday, June 5, 2015

Kung Fury - 80's Action Awesomeness

Kung Fury
D: David Sandberg
W: David Sandberg

S: David Sandberg, Jorma Taccone, Steven Chew 
Not Rated - Approx 30 Min.
Lampray/Laser Unicorns

 - It takes a cop from the future to fight an enemy from the past.

Alternate Titles:
Кунг Фьюри - Russia

"Just then, I was struck by lightning and bitten by a cobra...."
                                                                                         -Kung Fury

Holy shit!  Those two simple words came out of my mouth about fifty seven times within the thirty minute runtime of Kung Fury.  Right out of the gate, it's balls to the wall retro 80's action and awesomeness.  To simply say that Kung Fury is a love letter to 80's action flicks is like saying that beer is good.  It's a pretty generic statement and it does it no justice.

You know how much I love VHS.  You know how much YOU love VHS.  We all love VHS.  Especially the amazing box art.  That box art has been discussed a zillion times here and will be discussed a million more.  If you're over 30 then no doubt, you remember walking down the aisles of your local video store, leering at the lurid box art making promises that it can never hope to keep.  Well, Kung Fury takes all of those broken promises and crams them into a 30 minute 80's action fever dream.

Kung Fury takes place in 1985 and is about a cop that becomes a super-kung-fu-cop after being struck by lightning and bitten by a cobra at the same time (while chasing a mysterious kung fu master criminal who kills his partner).  Holy shit, just writing that last line gave me goose bumps.  After the lightning/cobra combo, he becomes Kung Fury!

I'm not going to give away too much of the plot here because quite frankly, you've just gotta experience this for yourselves!  I could tell you all about encounters to machine gun toting, dinosaur riding viking women or Laser Raptors (you know...Velociraptors who shoot muther-fucking laser beams from their eyes!), but you really just have to see it for yourself.  I could tell you about Kung Fury's partner, Triceracop....a anthropomorphic bipedal British dinosaur cop, but honestly I can't even begin to do it justice.  There's even a gawddamn 80's style animated segment!

Not only do I not want to give too much away in the review, but this is going to be a complete nightmare for me getting screen shots.  I wanna show you EVERYTHING.....but I don't want to ruin the amazingly awesome awesomeness of awesometivity that is Kung Fury.  I will tell you this much, we're introduced to KF when a Laser Unicorn arcade machine comes to life (Transformers style) and starts fucking up town hardcore.  Kung Fury rides into the rescue fighting the unruly arcade machine across the city before finally putting a bullet in it's CPU.  WHOLE-LEE-SHIT!

You can count me among the legion of growing fans of writer/director David Sandberg.  I can't wait to see what he has up his sleeve next!  Meanwhile I'm going to go and watch Kung Fury fifty more times today.  You should do the same!

Gore?  You want gore?  We got ya covered!  Multitudes of exploding heads, exploding bodies and a body sliced in half all kinda other groovy effects!

Sorry gang, nobody gets nekkid here.

So many creatures and things here!  Killer Arcade Machine, Laser Raptors, T-Rex.....and more!

Final Thoughts
Go and watch this film IMMEDIATELY!  GO!  NOW!

Seriously, stop reading this and go and watch it.

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