Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Contamination .7 - Attack of the Radioactive Tree Roots

Contamination .7
 - Directed by
Joe D'Amato (as David Hills) &
Fabrizio Laurenti (as Martin Newlin)
 - Written by
Rossella Drud, Fabrizio Laurenti, Albert Lawrence,
Daniele Stroppa (as Daniel Steel)
 - Starring 
Mary Sellers, Jason Saucier, Bubba Reeves

Rated R - Approx 91 Min

 - They Hunt...They Feed...They Kill...You're Next!

 - They Grow, They Know, They Stalk, They Kill, Not Your Average Houseplant.....

Alternate Titles:
 La Maldición De Los Creepers (The Curse of the Creepers) - Argentina
Contamination 7 - Brazil  
Creepers - UK
The Crawlers -USA 
Troll 3 -USA

Troll III: Contamination Point 7 - USA

"Just shut up and play with your carnivorous plant!"

What happens when the local power plant dumps it's radioactive toxic waste in the local woods?  Radioactive killer tree roots, that's what!  It's not the whole tree that goes all homicidal and carnivorous, oh no, it's just the roots.  That's really unfortunate for Josie who just got back into her small town from "The City".   Apparently a fella named Matt has been waiting for her return for some time.  From what I gathered she was engaged to Matt and then left town.

Josie was on a vacation far away.....

"Hey Josie welcome back!  I'll just take my pants off now..."

As they try to rekindle their romance people start dying off under mysterious circumstances.  When the pair come across the corpse of a girl in the woods, they report it to the sheriff (who's lines crack me the hell up.  His delivery is so scenery chewing and so over the top ridiculous it's truly a sight to behold!) who immediately claims that he doesn't believe them, accusing them of snorting some drugs that Josie must have brought from the "Big City".

You can always blackmail an alcoholic with minimal problems

Brian and Matt ponder their next move in the battle against radioactive vegetation

Turns out the sheriff is in cahoots with the power plant manager.  They are trying to keep the whole thing under wraps.  A drunken scientist at the plant joins up with Matt and Josie as well as Brian, a young man who comes to town after his grandfather dies of mysterious circumstances(i.e., radioactive tree roots).  The group further recruit Josie's Mom and little brother and Matt's father.  The group set out to warn the town and try and put an end the the radioactive carnivore plants.  To do so it would see that they need to find where the power plant is dumping the waste so they can clean it out.

As I mentioned already, the acting in this one ranges from barely passable to outright ludicrous.  The sheriff, the power plant manager and a few other characters are about about as bad as bad gets.  But man, I'll tell you leads to some of the funniest moments in the film.  The so called radioactive roots are nothing more than rubber hoses painted up to look like tree roots.  When they creep along the ground they make a crunchy noise like someone walking through heavy brush.....but when they attack, it's the most hilarious whipping sound you've ever heard.  And it's constant.

Say, you've got something on your face there.....

It's all fun and games......

I was actually rather surprised that some of the cinematography was quite nice, which in turn created a sort of imbalance with the acting...which created a very wonky mood which, quite truthfully, I really dug.  The music is your typical "written-and-performed-by-one-dude-on-his-Casio-keyboard-his-parents-got-him-for-Christmas" variety, but it all just adds to the surreal fun of the film.  There are a few good gore effects, which we'll get into in the Tally.

This film is known in some circles as Troll 3.  Why?  Who the hell knows!  It was put out by Filmirage, who owned the rights to Troll 2 and more than likely were trying to just cash in on the name.  There is absolutely NO TROLLS in this film.  Trolls are not even hinted at.  Now to make things even more confusing, another film called The Quest for the Mighty sword is also known as Troll 3 in some well as being called Ator IV:  The Hobgoblin....and also Hobgoblins in yet other places.  This is like the whole damn Zombi thing all over again.  But I digress.....let's check the MC Tally, shall we?

Time to call in the cavalry!

I think we're getting to the.....wait for it.....wait for it.....ROOT of the problem here

Midnight Cinephile Tally

Death Toll - So, I BELIEVE that the death toll is 14 on this one, but to be honest it was a little rough to count during the films climax.  Put it this way...there are some ASSUMED deaths that I put in there....but still there's a much bigger body count than I would have expected!  For the most part, there's not much gore, but there are a few good gags including the corpse of the girl that was hitchhiking and of course the films famous Tree Root Eye Gouging Scene!

Nude-O-Meter - No full nudity but in one scene you see just a bit of nipple of the girl.  Other than that nuffin.

Things That Go Bump In The Night -   Radioactive Tree Roots!  It's not often that combination of words comes up, but when it does....use it as much as possible, that's what I say!  Keep an eye out for the "giant" roots at the films climax.

Final Thoughts
If ever there was a film that deserved the MST3K treatment, it's this one!  If you've got some like minded friends that love to make fun of bad movies, then order up a pizza, get the beer flowing and have fun with this one.  Or if you're like me and you can count the amount of friends willing to subject themselves to this level of cinematic cheese on one finger, then order that pizza (get extra cheese....treat yourself!) and your favorite beverage and make it a bad movie night.  This film is currently available on Shout Factory!'s All Night Horror Marathon Volume 2 collection.  Don't miss it!

Final Rating
Two out of Five Pizza Rolls

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