Embryo - They Grow Up So Fast, Don't They?

Embryo
1976
D: Ralph Nelson
W: Anita Doohan & Jack W. Thomas 

S: Rock Hudson, Barbara Carrera, Diane Ladd
Rated PG - Approx 104 Minutes
Plura Service Company/Sandy Howard Productions

Taglines:
 - From Embryo to woman in 4 and a half weeks.

Alternate Titles:
Embryo Lethal - Spain
The Devil's Workshop - Greece
The Brood of Evil - West Germany
Fetus - Turkey
Created To Kill - USA Alternative Title

"You let me win!  Nobody lets me win!!!"
                                                                -Frank Riley


I'm not exactly sure when it happened, but at a certain point in the late 60's/early 70's filmmakers seemed to feel a need to legitimize their science fiction and horror films.  More and more often you would find a preamble to the film, talking about the very real nature of the film's subject matter.  Take for example today's film:  Embryo.  Before we even get started we're met with some preambled text that reads:

THE FILM YOU ARE ABOUT THE SEE IS NOT ALL SCIENCE FICTION.  IT IS BASED UPON MEDICAL TECHNOLOGY WHICH CURRENTLY EXISTS FOR FETAL GROWTH OUTSIDE THE WOMB.

IT COULD BE A POSSIBILITY TOMORROW....OR TODAY.

                                                                                              CHARLES R. BRINKMAN III  M.D.


That's a bit on the heavy handed side, which makes the film that follows all the more difficult to watch.  The film takes itself WAY to seriously and tries to pass itself off as serious hard Sci-Fi.  Had director Ralph Nelson shot this as the B-Movie that it is, I think the results would have been much more enjoyable.  That's not to say that I didn't enjoy the film...or at least parts of it.

Rock Hudson (McMillan & Wife, Dynasty, The Martian Chronicles) plays scientist Paul Holliston. One rainy night he hits a pregnant dog with his car.  He scoops her up and brings her back to his basement lab (He's sorta a mad scientist, I guess) to try and save her life.  When he realizes that the poor pooch can't be saved he does his best to save her pups by extracting them from her womb and putting them in vats of.....erm.....stuff...to let them continue to grow.  Of the four pups, only one survives.  The dog grows from pup to adulthood in a matter of weeks and Holliston then decides that he needs to try again, this time with a human fetus.  What a great idea!  Not.

And so, procuring a viable fetus through legal, yet morally ambiguous means, he begins the experiment anew and....um...grows a baby girl who grows into the lusciously beautiful Victoria Spencer (played by Bond Girl, Barbara Carrera).  Not only is does Victoria grow rapidly into a full grown woman, but she is also incredibly intelligent.....and homicidal as it turns out.  Hey, two out of three ain't bad.

Embryo is a very talky movie and as such it makes for some tedious viewing.  HOWEVER, if you're committed enough to plug your way through the film then you will be rewarded with some fun little tidbits such as the scene where the now fully grown Doberman pup (who also possesses highly evolved intelligence) is waiting in the car for her master.  She spies a small little dog (I dunno what it was a Yorkshire, maybe?), opens the car door and proceeds to grab the dog in her mouth and shake the life out of it.  She then hides the tiny dog's body in some shrubs, jumps back in the car and closes the door!  Aside from the homicidal tendencies, that's a pretty neat pooch!

Also be on the lookout for Roddy McDowall as chess expert Frank Riley.  He takes on Victoria in a chess game and when she (quite obviously) lets him win, he completely loses his shit and storms out screaming "YOU LET ME WIN!  NOBODY LET'S ME WIN!"  It was a pretty amusing moment!

There are some other fun moments, but I'm not going to spoil them all.  If ya wanna find them, ya gotta put in the time and watch the flick!  I'm such a bastard, aren't I?

Need further incentive?  Oh fine.  Barbara Carrera also has a nude scene.  If that isn't incentive enough to watch, then I dunno what to tell ya!

GORE
There's a little bit 'o blood....but not much.

T&A
Barbara Carrera.  Naked.  You're welcome.

MONSTERS
Well, if homicidal, genetically modified and grown dogs and people count as monsters........

FINAL THOUGHTS
Like I said before, this one can be a bit rough to get through.  I don't recommend watching it alone unless your a hardcore b movie junkie like myself.  There's a lot of talk and a lot of filler, but there are the aforementioned bits that I think make the film worth seeing.  Also, you would never guess it by the rest of the film, but the ending is pretty nuts and totally took me by surprise!  I would go so far as to say that the end actually made up for the boring parts of the rest.
If you've got some like minded friends and wanna have a MST3K-Fest....this would be a perfect film to use.  If you're a b movie junkie......have at it!