Monday, March 16, 2015

Midnight Cinephile Is About To Ruin Your Childhood Forever!

I have jumped up on the old soapbox before....whether it was defending "bad movies" that most people have no interest in (Nobody's Children - Defending the UnDefendable) or standing up against the myriad horror elitists and so called journalists who engage in active hate mongering on movies, directors, actors, etc (The Problem With Horror Elitists and the Self Appointed Critics or, Roger Ebert Would Be Ashamed of You.).  I'm a pretty upbeat guy and I'm also pretty relaxed, but every now and then I feel the need to address problems that arise that really bother me.

I suppose that this could be considered a continuation of the "Horror Elitist" article......but the problem has run deeper and expanded past said elitists.  In this day and age everyone with a keyboard or a smart phone has a platform to let their feelings be known.  There are some who use this amazing privilege to create blogs and websites that celebrate the things they love.  Then there are others who see the technology as a way to spew their venom and toxic thoughts to plague the rest of us.  For a great example of these dregs of humanity look at the YouTube comments on pretty much any video in existence.  Holy hell.

Anyway....before I go off on a huge tirade about people trolling and such, let's focus back on the task at hand....which in and of itself is really a form of trolling.  I can't believe I'm using the word trolling in an article...what the hell has my life come to.

As I'm sure you are well aware we (and by we I mean Hollywood....not you and I) are in the midst of a long running reboot/remake cycle.  No big happens.  There was a big remake boom in the 80's too.  Not quite as big as this one....but it was still there none the less.  In addition to remakes, there is also a trend in which filmmakers who grew up in the 80's (much like myself) are now taking the things they loved in the 80's and turning them into films.

Do you know what the #1 response is to a new 80's toy/cartoon/pop-culture/videogame inspired movie?  "Stop ruining my childhood you ^&$#^&$^)@^&)!!!!!!!"

Really?  Please enlighten me as to how the filmmakers traveled back to 1985, track you down and then proceeded to defile your most beloved toy/etc.  The truth is it does absolutely nothing to your childhood.  Skynet did not go back and erase your childhood.  Just as remakes do not magically erase your DVD's and Blu Ray copies of the original films.  They are still sitting there on your shelf waiting to be watched.

And now to make matters worse, some of these jackasses have managed to start writing for film websites such as WhatCulture which feature one of the most ridiculous articles entitled 10 Ways That The Marvel Cinematic Universe Has Ruined Cinema.   It was one of the most infuriating reads of my life.  Uneducated, biased and complete bullshit.  Sam Hill, the author of said steaming pile of garbage is clearly against Marvel films from the get-go.  Most of his "10 Ways" are the same thing worded slightly different.  I will not go into specifics because the article does not merit nor deserve any additional views.  It is crass, lazy and offensive "journalism" and it frustrates me to no end.

I wish that article was an isolated incident but the sad truth is that if you spend about 5 minutes online you'll come across no less than 20 similarly themed articles.  All written by whiny wanna-be writers who evidently have no joy in life other than sucking the fun out of the air for the rest of us.

If you've read this far, I thank you.  I needed to get that off my chest.  I realize that I haven't been around much and I know that I've already said that I'll be getting back to maintaining a more regular schedule and I still stand by that's just taking a bit longer to get to that point than I thought! 


  1. I've noticed recently that almost all of my posts that even remotely resemble a movie review are mostly positive. It's not because I don't see bad movies. I just choose not to compound my error of wasting ninety minutes watching said bad movie by then wasting another ninety minutes of my life detailing why it was bad. It was just bad. Nuff said. I generally don't take any joy from shitting all over someone's movie in a public forum, even if I didn't like it. It limits the scope of what the Dog Farm does somewhat, but I subscribe to the "if you don't have something nice to say..." school of thought.

    Unfortunately, some writers want nothing more than to shit in your cornflakes. More specifically, though, some writers are only looking for clicks. Say something controversial, and you get clicks. Clickbait, baby. I hate it. Grrrr. But you know what - I'd already read that post about the MCU ruining cinema before I found my way here. It works, dammit.

    Funny thing - I'm kind of a grump in real life. I've been an irascible curmudgeon for over a decade already. You'd think that would manifest itself more in my writing. But I'm writing because of my love of the movies, not a deep-seated desire to undermine the very thing I love.

    And I'm confident - unfortunately, maybe - that if someone releases a turdball of a movie that there are thousands of reviewers who thrive on tearing things down. I don't have to write that review. I guess that's the yin and yang of the internet. You and I prefer to take a more positive tack, but there can be no Light Side without a Dark Side. I feel ya, but I'm afraid you're tilting at windmills. I'm just glad someone else is doing the joyless dirty work on the internet so I can have fun singing the praises of the stuff I like.

  2. You bring up a very good point. It's true there cannot be any light without darkness. I know that I'm completely shouting into the wind and tilting at windmills, but every now and then something just chaps my ass and I've gotta stand on my little soapbox and scream at the world. I know it's certainly not going to change anything, but damn.....the ignorance is absolutely stunning sometimes.

    As a general rule I don't fall for the clickbait....but I came across that particular MCU article via a series of other articles and before I knew it I was reading complete garbage. I'll be honest, I didn't finish the article. I didn't have to, because it became painfully clear that it was just rewording the same thing over and over again. Basically "I hate Marvel..." blah blah blah.

    You are correct though sir, it is a Yin Yang effect and we are fortunate enough to be able to talk about films we love and have positive conversations about them! So I suppose that I should be happy and thankful that there are bright spots in the dark and warped corners of the web where people can go to celebrate films and have a good time with them!