Sunday, June 30, 2013

World War Z - Out-Gored By Twilight!!!!!!!!!!!

World War Z
Directed by Marc Forster
Written by Drew Goddard, Damon Lindelof, 
Matthew Michael Carnahan & J. Michael Straczynski  Starring Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos, Daniella Kertesz

Tag Lines:
There Will Be No Warning
Remember Philly!

Alternate Titles:  (All translate to World War Z)
Argentina Guerra mundial Z
Bosnia and Herzegovina Svjetski rat Z
Bulgaria Z-та Световна война
Brazil Guerra Mundial Z
Chile Guerra mundial Z
Colombia   Guerra mundial Z
Estonia Z maailmasõda
Spain Guerra mundial Z
Greece Pagosmios Polemos Z
Croatia Svjetski rat Z
Hungary Z világháború
Lithuania  Pasaulinis karas Z
Mexico Guerra mundial Z
Panama Guerra mundial Z
Peru  Guerra mundial Z
Portugal WWZ: Guerra Mundial
Romania Ziua Z: Apocalipsa
Serbia Svetski rat Z
Turkey Dünya Savasi Z

Venezuela Guerra mundial Z

Okay, first things first, let's get something out of the way:  This is NOT a film adaptation of World War Z.  I don't care WHAT anyone says.  This has absolutely NOTHING to do with the book.  Once you accept that you can look at the film objectively and judge it on it's own merits.  Okay, so how does WWZ fair as a zombie flick?  Oh boy.....okay, here we go.

Things go bad almost immediately for the Lane family.

Now, I'm not a picky guy.  You know that.  Hell, I dedicated an entire blog to watching, reviewing and spreading the word about movies that seemingly few others like.  I was one of the few people who actually enjoyed House of the Dead, for crying out loud!  World War Z really let me down though.

The film follows a guy named Gerry Lane who used to work for the UN.  He's pulled back into duty when the zombie apocalypse arrives without warning.  His mission is to search the world for Patient Zero and try and find an antidote for the zombie virus.  Here's the problem:  The zombies act like a swarm of rabid insects.  They don't act dead in any way shape or form.  Think more like the infected in 28 Days/Weeks later.

This can't be good.....

Personally, I'm more of a shambling zombie kinda guy, but if the movie is good, I can forgive fast moving zombies.  Dawn of the Dead 2004 used fast zombies to effective use.  World War Z......not so much.  Now not only are the zombies a bunch of juiced up  super freaks, but they all are remarkably intact for a bunch of people who have been attacked and reanimated by the living dead.  No ripped off limbs, no fucked up faces....just a bunch of people with black veins, paled out eyes that look like they've stayed out in the sun way too long.

This makes the L.A Riots look like a picnic!

This brings me to my next point and my biggest problem with this flick:  There's no damn gore!!!!!!   How in the hell are you supposed to have a zombie movie without any freaking blood and grue?  Now this started out as an R rated movie and then got dropped to PG-13 and you can see it in the final product.  It almost feels like a TV edit where the good stuff was cropped out of the picture, but you know it used to be there.  I found myself almost instinctively straining as if, if I tried hard enough, I'd be able to see past the picture on screen and get the goods.  No such luck.  The friggin Twilight movies had more of the red stuff than this!!!!!  Holy hell!!!  Twilight is gorier that World War Z!  Let that sink in for a moment. Not only is this a let down to us horror fans, but it's just plain old disrespectful to the source material.  I can't imagine that Max Brooks was very pleased with the treatment of his epic zombie saga.  I know that I wasn't.

As an action flick, I suppose it's alright.  There are some intense sequences, a few jump scares and a couple of those "sweaty palm" moments, but they are rendered ineffective because you don't really care about any of the characters.  Trying to put a story of this scope into 116 minutes is a tall order and unfortunately, it was spread too thin and yet still managed to not feel very expansive at all.  You didn't really feel like there was a global pandemic on hand.

Zombies act suspiciously like ants in World War Z.....

Midnight Cinephile Tally

Body Count:  On screen, there are a ton of deaths, though the whiz by so fast and bloodlessly that you don't even notice, really.  Plus if you take into the account what is happening in the rest of the world, the death toll is up in the millions to billions to be sure.

Boob Count:  Dream on, Kojack.

Beast Count:  See Body count.  You die, you turn, you swarm.

Final Thoughts
This could have been something truly special.  For the love of God, The Hobbit is being split into three epic movies.  Why the hell couldn't they have split World War Z into three movies to cover the expansive nature? Better yet, as Mrs. Midnight pointed out, had FX, TNT, or any other cable station wanted to compete with The Walking Dead, THIS would have been the way to do it.

I didn't HATE this movie, but I didn't like it either.

Final Rating
One out of Five Pizza Rolls

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