Sunday, March 10, 2013

CineBites - Flying Monkeys

Don't have enough money to go and see Oz?  No problem!  Curl up with this Syfy original which is clearly trying to cash in!  This little piece of cinematic fried cheese is set in Kansas (clever) in a little town called Gale.  Get it?  Like Dorothy Gale?  Zing!  After missing his daughter's high school graduation, James buys his daughter Joan a monkey to make up for it.  Where'd he get the monkey?  Oh you know, the local pet shop run by a black market animal buyer.  Seriously.  Nothing says bad ass like black market animals.

Turns out said monkey grows wings, sheds it's hair and turns into a flying demon monkey thing every night. On it's nocturnal jaunts, it finds people and animals to maim and eat.  Oh yeah, and if you kill the monkey with anything other than an ancient sanctioned weapon, then it will just multiply.  Like a Mogwai.  Sorta.  Only no water.

This multiplication device is (I guess) supposed to add some social commentary on the state of gun control in America....because the two Flying Monkey Hunters from Hong Kong (yeah, there are Monkey Hunters) keep commenting on how ridiculous it is that everyone has a gun.  Way to be subtle.

All in all, it's a pretty terrible flick.  Bad special effects.....almost bloodless gore (if that makes any sense)....the monkeys themselves look ridiculous.  On the plus side, Electra Avellan is in here and has a shower scene.  You may remember that Electra is one half of the Crazy Babysitter Twins in Grindhouse.

Well, that's it for the first installment of my new feature we're calling CineBites.  Bite sized reviews of crappy movies!

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