Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The Slime Beast

The Slime Beast. How can a guy like me pass on a title like that? The title alone conjures up images of Slime.....and Beasts!

A Monster from Earth or From Beyond The Stars? Okay, count me in! Hell's yeah!

The Slime Beast is a novel written by Guy N. Smith, who is perhaps most famous for his Crabs series of novels. I haven't read any of Guy's other stories yet, but you can be sure that I'm going to check them out ASAP!

The story revolves around three archaeologists: Professor Lowson, his niece Liz and the Prof's strapping young assistant Gavin. They have traveled to The Wash, on England's east coast in search of King John's Lost Treasure. They are not met with the warmest of welcomes, especially from the local wildfowler, but start their expedition into The Wash anyway. Instead of finding treasure they end up digging up some strange, burnt metal that the Prof can't identify. Digging a little further they discover what they think to be a body....until they notice it's covered in scales and oozing slime. What's worse is that it's BREATHING! Que 50's sci-fi music. Unfortunately the tide is coming in and they don't have adequate time to examine the creature. They decide that they will check out the slumbering beast in full the next day. Already there is tension between the Prof and Gavin.....see Lowson wants all the credit, fame and fortune that goes with the find, where as Gavin thinks they should call the museum they work for immediately.

Anywhoo...they return to the blockhouse that they are camping in. Well, wouldn't ya know it....Ol' Mr. Slime Beast rises up from his muddy lair and starts to go on a rampage! Locals are killed in graphic and gory ways. Apparently the Slime Beast has a taste for human entrails. As the carnage continues on, Gavin and Liz start a physical relationship, which deepens into an emotional relationship as the Beast's attacks worsen. The Beast invades the town, killing a dog and taking fire from about 12 men. When they realize that their bullets have no effect on it, they call in the army.

The Military arrives and sets up in town, complete with a tank. The townsfolk relax now that the army is there to protect them and the entire town takes more of a carnival type of attitude to the whole thing. Townies and soldiers hanging out, drinkin' beer. Soldiers gettin' it on with local girls.....yer general small town shenanigans. Those all end pretty abruptly when the copulating couple in question are torn up by The Slime Beast. The army boys unload on the creature, to no seems nothing can stop this rampaging horror!

I won't ruin the rest of the story for ya......should you wanna read it, it's quite readily available in paperback format & e-book format from, or you can order direct from the author's website. It's a short novel, only 144 pages, but quite worth it, I think.

The Slime Beast is the literary equivalent to the low budget monster flicks of the 60's and 70's. It's blend of gore soaked violence and softcore sex give it that fantastic B-Movie vibe. The logic that these characters share is a bit on the wonky side....... personally if I was in danger of being disembowelled by a foul smelling slime creature, I'd get the hell out of dodge and let someone far more qualified deal with it......but then if they (the characters) did that, we wouldn't have this awesome slice of 70's pulp fiction.

This is the first novel I've read by Guy Smith, but if The Slime Beast is anything to go by I think I may have found another favorite author.

Stay Slimey!

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