Oh man. I have been ill. Now, when I say ill, I don't mean a case of the sniffles and a bit of a cough......I mean.....ILL! Holy Kryptonite Batman! After getting home from work on Thursday evening at about 9:30, I promptly passed out. I woke up Friday at about noon, called work to inform them that there was no way in hell I was going to make it in that night, downed half a bottle of NyQuil and again fell into the sweet void of unconsciousness until my wife got home at about 7 with some groceries, as well as a humidifier and more medicine for me. I ate my dinner and was out like a light again until about 11am Saturday. I managed to stay awake for like 4 hours on Saturday before going in and out. That's when the sweats and the chills started. One minute I was under 30 pounds of blankets with a portable radiator next to me, unable to stop shivering....next minute I was sweating and thought about jumping naked into the snow.....which trust me, no one would have wanted to see. As I tossed and turned, my body flipping between extremes of heat and cold, something happened to my brain. I blame the fever. I started the think irrationally. At one point, whilst sweating like it was my job, I found myself standing in front of the bathroom mirror, wetting my lips with water from the faucet. As I stared into the sunken eyes looking back at me, I remember thinking:
"This is exactly how it started for Jeff Goldblum in The Fly. OH MY GOD! I'M GONNA MUTATE!"
I wish that I was just making that part up to try and be funny. Unfortunately, that actually happened. Not my proudest moment to be sure. After realizing that I wasn't going to be regurgitating on my donuts anytime soon, I shuffled back to bed where I started to have what can only be described as "Thought Dreams" I wish there was a better way to describe them, but there really isn't. No visuals. No audio. Just.....thoughts. Ideas....abstract ideas. Thankfully I made it through the night and managed to get myself vertical for more than five minutes today! Still feel like a can of smashed assholes, but I'm slowly getting better!
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