Digging Up The Marrow - The Holliston Witch Project

Digging Up The Marrow
2014
D: Adam Green
W: Adam Green

S: Ray Wise, Adam Green, Will Barratt 
Not Rated - Approx 98 Min
ArieScope Pictures


Taglines:
NONE

Alternate Titles:
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"This creature, this one here, I call Vance."

                                                                       -Dekker

I've been a fan of Adam Green's stuff since he burst on the horror scene with Hatchet.  Not only was Hatchet a bad ass slasher flick, but Adam is a fellow Masshole (hailing from Holliston, MA not far from Fitchburg, the town I grew up in.) and us Masshole's have gotta stick together.  So when I came across Digging Up The Marrow, I was rather surprised because somehow it had slipped under my radar.

I picked the disc up when it came out at the end of March and I haven't gotten a chance to sit down and watch it until today.  I had a few minor discussions about it on various podcasts, but by and large I really had no idea what I was getting into.  I'll tell ya, I was not disappointed at all.  It's Green's rather humorous take on the found footage genre.  Only the footage isn't really found.

The premise is rather clever:  Adam and Will Barrat play
themselves.  Ray Wise plays a former Boston police detective (so he claims) named William Dekker that has discovered an underground civilization of monsters and reaches out to Adam and Will to make a film to tell his story.  According to Dekker, these monsters (or "Different People" as he prefers to call them) have an entire society underground that mirrors our own.  But who are these "Different People"?  Well, according to Dekker, they are the
horribly deformed.  Humans born with severe deformities.  They seem to vanish after a certain age.  So where do they go?  To this underground civilization, which Dekker has dubbed "The Marrow".

We follow along as Adam and Will are drawn further into Dekkers world of The Marrow...which may or may not be the creation of a delusional man.  There is some interesting and compelling footage
captured, but Dekker's strict rules of observing the "Different People", his shady behavior and the fact that he lied about his past as a Boston police detective are all working against him....not to mention the fact that the boys actually watch Dekker tamper with their camera set-up around The Marrow.

The film is full of fun cameos by some of Adam's genre friends including directors Tom Holland and Mick Garris.  Tony Todd
makes a cameo as well and there's a humorous scene with Kane Hodder.  When you're not picking out some of your favorite genre personalities, you're being drawn into the fascinating and disturbing world of The Marrow along with Green and Barrat.

I've heard a few complaints that Ray Wise's character detracts from the film because pretty much everyone else is playing themselves.
 Personally, I didn't have a hard time with it.  Sure you look at Dekker and you're like "Whoa, cool!  It's Ray Wise!"  But let's be honest....he's a pretty terrific actor and he plays his part so well that Wise vanishes and all you see is Dekker.




Gore:
Sorry amigo, no gore this time.

T&A:
Nope.  This is no nakedity going on here.  Nakedity.  That's a fun word.

Monsters:
Seriously?  I've told you a bunch of times they prefer to be called "Different People".  And yes.

Final Thoughts:
Love it or hate it, you've got to admit that this is a pretty clever flick.  If you can't get past the whole Ray Wise playing a character thing, think of this as an Augmented Reality Film!  Look at that, I just created a new genre!  Goddamn, I am so ahead of my time.  Seriously, this is a damn cool flick and it's got a few good scares in it while still having that humorous Green touch.  As us Massholes would say:  It's Wicked Pissah.

Hugo's House of Horrors - Haunted House of DOS

Back in the early 90's my Dad got our first IBM PC Compatible and a whole new world opened up to me.  One of the earliest games I remember playing was Hugo's House of Horrors, an adventure game utilizing a combination of keyboard controls and text input.  So basically you would control Hugo's movements using the arrow keys and then you would type in simple commands such as "Look at the door" or "Tell Igor to press button".  

Hugo's House of Horrors is a simplistic game that takes only about 15 to 20 minutes to complete if you know what you're doing.  That's the operative phrase, however....IF YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING!  

Much like many adventure games of the 80's and 90's it was sometimes extremely difficult to figure out what to do next.  This was back before there was a walkthrough available online for every game known to man.  For a good part of my younger teenage years I was stuck at a certain point and I could not figure out how to proceed.  This was largely in part to slightly wonky controls and the fact that there are several points in the game that a point of no return so to speak.  If you don't save your game before you try certain parts and screw them up, there's no way to move forward.  I hate that and I think it's a cheap way to make you start all over.  

Okay that's enough backstory, I'm sure you're here because you want to hear about the game itself!  Hugo's girlfriend, Penelope has been kidnapped by a mad scientist and is being held captive in a spooky old house.  It's up to you and Hugo to make your way through the house, solve it's puzzles and save your girl.

Looks like a nice place......*GULP*

....yeah.....I get the feeling this isn't going to end well....

The house is populated by the mad scientists, a dining room full of monsters having a dinner party and one very mean dog!  Your adventure will take you underneath the house as well, which is where things will REALLY start to get difficult for you!

The game starts you off just outside the house.  The door is locked and you must find a way in.  A good many of the puzzles are either logic based or just a matter of looking around.  In this case, there is a jack o'lantern sitting on the front porch if you break it open, you'll find a key inside.  Fairly easy stuff.  

Once inside you'll find yourself in the main foyer.  You can either go upstairs and explore the rooms up there or you can explore the rooms downstairs.....when you're playing for the first time you are more than likely going to check out the first floor.  Makes sense right?  Why would anything deadly be in the immediate area when you first start playing?  Well, I'll tell you what....if you walk into the room immediately to the left you'll find an entire room full of monsters having a dinner party.  Guess what?  Now you're the main course.  The end.

 It's a monster dinner party!  Swell!  Anybody wanna do the Time Warp?

Yep, you even get to visit the haunted house's shed! Ooooh!

After cheap death number one, you're back outside and starting again.  You decide to trying the other room down stairs.  Turns out it's a kitchen.  Nothing to see really....it's your standard kitchen...although it IS a ghastly green color that will make you question the owner's interior decorating skills.  Say, what's in that room to the left of the kitchen?  You walk in and........are immediately eaten by a dog.  Son of a bitch.

Cheap death #2 and you're back in front of the house.  Hopefully by now you've learned to save your progress before venturing into any new rooms.  Yes, it's tedious, but it sure beats starting over every damn time you take two steps in the wrong direction!  I'm not going to run through the entire game here, I just wanted to give you an idea of how the game works and give you a feeling for the frustration level that will inevitably occur as you play.

Now don't get me wrong, it's a fun game and it's a good time going through the house and trying to solve the puzzles....but just remember that back in the day these games were made by a small staff of programmers....sometimes only one.....and what makes perfect sense to them as a puzzle may have you scratching your head for hours, days, weeks or in my case a few years!  Although in my case it wasn't so much a puzzle that did me in as the wording that was expected to be used.  That will get ya sometimes too....so be sure to CAREFULLY read every bit of text the game throws at ya!  

This guy is really wrapped up in himself........

This is what happened to Karnov when he got old and found he couldn't retire:  Henchman Duty.

After you manage to make your way through the house, you end up in the basement and then into conjoining caves full of bats and another one with a mummy in it!  Things get even more bizarre from there. 

The graphics are simple DOS 8-Bit style graphics but they are charming and do a good job of evoking a spooky fun Halloween vibe.  There are some fun monsters to check out and some fun environments to "sort-of" explore.  If you like adventure games of this ilk, then you'll dig Hugo's House of Horrors.  I would recommend it to anyone looking for some retro Halloween fun on their PC.  If I'm not mistaken, the game is available as Abandoneware through several websites....so fire up your DOSBox emulator and get in the house to save Penelope!

I should also mention that there were two sequels to Hugo's House of Horrors:  Hugo II:  Whodunit and Hugo III:  Jungle of Doom.  Just as they sound, the second is a murder mystery and the third is a jungle adventure.  I do believe these are also available on Abandonware sites, so if you dig the first one you may want to take a look at the other two!

If you should want to see the full game without having to go through the motions of playing yourself, I went ahead and included a video of the full playthrough.  It only lasts about sixteen minutes so it's a good way to see the full game.  I did all the hard work so you don't have to!  Enjoy!

Midnight Cinephile's Tome of Monsters

I love monsters.  I love monsters of all kinds.  From the most giant kaijus and behemoths to the tiniest horrors and everything in between.  It doesn't matter to me if they are extra-terrestrial, supernatural, created in a science lab or some undiscovered cryptid, each and every monster is an endless source of fascination to me and I want to explore them all.

When I was a kid, I was really into dinosaurs (like most red blooded boys).  The thought that these giant creatures once stood in my backyard was enough to set my young mind racing.  I had tons of books and had a good many species of dinosaur memorized.  I could spout off facts about them on the spot.  I begged my parents to take me the the museum to see the fossils over and over again.  Those were my first monsters.  My love of dinosaurs of course segued into kaiju movies and giant bug movies of the 50's.  As I grew older and started to explore the genre, I watched anything and everything that had to do with Monsters, Ghouls, Ghosts, Beasts, Creatures....you name it.  

My monster obsession didn't end with just movies though, oh no.  Being a child of the 80's I was also (and still am) an avid gamer.  I spent many a night glued to my TV screen playing Atari, Nintendo and my beloved Commodore 64.  Monsters I'd never even dreamed of appeared in pixilated format.  Of course as time went on, the computers and consoles became more advanced and so did the monsters in the games.

When I was in high school I really started to get the reading bug.  I read tons of Stephen King and Dean Koontz at the time.  Then I was introduced to the works on Edgar Allen Poe and H.P. Lovecraft.  My life was forever changed at the discovery of ancient cosmic horrors that could not be named and to describe them would be to go mad.  Cthulhu became an obsession for me (well before he was a pop culture icon, mind you.....but I'm glad that he's finally getting the recognition that he deserves!) as well as Dagon, Nyarlothotep and of course the Mi-Goo.

I looked for monsters everywhere I went and the 80's were a good time to be a monster fan.  Everything from stickers to trading cards to toys to games to movies....hell even metal bands would paint monsters on their albums.

Hence, The Tome of Monsters.  My personal guide to monsters from anywhere and everywhere.  Movies, Books, Music, Games, Toys, Posters, Folklore, etc.....anything and everything goes.  The idea is that each entry will show a picture of the monster (if there's one available....God help you if I have to draw the damn thing.....I can't draw worth a damn) as well as all the information I can find about it.  For those obscure monsters that may not have any information available about them, I guess I will have to speculate on....or hopefully be able to reach it's creator for some insight.

Anyways, I hope that you dig this new side project.  Perhaps if there's a good enough response I will consider putting the Tome into print format.  We'll see!  Stay tuned for the first entry comin' at ya SOON!

Giant from the Unknown - Plus Sized Carnage in Devil's Crag

Giant From The Unkown
1958
Directed by Richard E. Cuhna
Written by Ralph Brooke, Frank Hart Taussig
Starring Ed Kemmer, Sally Fraser, Morris Ankrum




Tag Lines:

A Hideous Monster from Beyond the Grave!

It came from another world!

Terror Stalks! Half Monster, Half Man!





Alternate Titles:
Giant From Devil's Crag (US Alternate Title)
Giant From Diablo Point (US  Alternate Title)
The Diablo Giant (US Alternative Title)
In den Klauen des Giganten (In The Clutches of The Giants) West Germany
O Gigante do Outro Mundo (The Giant of The Otherworld) Brazil

Releases:
Theatrical:  US - March, 1958    W. Germany - September 1961
VHS: Vci Home Video - Englewood Entertainment - Sinister Cinema - First Look Home Entertainment
DVD:  Image Entertainment
Streaming: Netflix - Amazon - DailyMotion - YouTube


Characters of Note:

Wayne Brooks:  Our not-so-square-jawed hero.  Wayne's a bit of an odd duck, and a bit goofy, but as far as B-Movie heroes go, he ain't too bad!  Unfortunately for him, Sheriff Parker has got it in for him and wants to pin a rash of murders and animal mutilations on him.

Sheriff Parker:  The Law in the the sleepy little town of Pine Ridge, CA.  He's got a bit of a problem with some murders and animal mutilations.  Supposedly the whole town is under suspicion, but it does seem that he's already made up his mind that Wayne is his man.  Typical 5-0.

Charlie Brown:  No shit!  His name is Charlie Brown!  He's a local youth who's a friend to Wayne.  He's got a sister named Ann.

Ann Brown:  Charlie's Sister!  See?  I wasn't lying. She is pretty much Giant Fodder.

Dr. Frederick Cleveland:  A professor in town, looking for a buried giant Spanish Conquistador in the CA mountains.  Gee, he's like a 50's Scott Wolter, isn't he?

Janet Cleveland:  Professor Cleveland's daughter.  Janet's along on the trip to help out her Dad and play love interest to Wayne.  If you ask me, she gets the short end of the stick on this trip.  Essentially she's there to make them sandwiches and clean up the campground.  June Cleaver be proud.

Indian Joe aka Crazy Joe:  As you well know, every monster movie has got to have a crazy dude either warning everyone that they are DOOOOMED or at least spewing forth cryptic exposition......and we ALL know what's gonna happen to this guy.

Vargas the Giant:  The big man himself.  Okay....so he's not exactly a GIANT.  Still, he's a big dude and he's over five hundred years old....reanimated from a lightening strike after spending five centuries in suspended animation in the unusual soil in Devil's Crag.

If you want to know what the difference is between B-Movies of yesteryear and B-Movies of today, you need look no further than Giant from the Unknown.  These films were all about having fun, not trying to be the next big thing in Torture Porn.  Film making was quick and dirty.  Sure there were cast and crew that phoned in performances for a paycheck, but there were also people who loved and believed in these films despite knowing how goofy they were.

Pine Ridge....a nice place to get killed by Giant Conquistadors....

So Sheriff, this is the new town hearse, eh?

This little gem starts out in the pleasant looking town of Pine Ridge, CA.  There's a group of townsfolk that have gathered outside talking about the strange goings-on as of late.  Mutilated cows and pigs...a chicken coup that looked like it had been hit by a cyclone.....and now a murder.  A local man dead.  His bones crushed.  There's talk of a supernatural curse that plagues an area known as Devil's Crag....which is a place that includes an ancient Indian burial ground.  The local Indian drunk/crazy guy (Indian Joe) starts to spout off warnings from the spirits.  "Men who walk on Indian graves, die".  The Sheriff tells everyone that he'll be around to question them individually to get to the bottom of the murder.  Until our hero Wayne arrives, that is.  He gets back to town and it's like Sheriff Parker instantly made up his mind that he was to blame.  Kinda odd with absolutely NO evidence, except for a minor altercation between Wayne and the deceased a week earlier.

Figures...they had to stop for "supplies" at the cosmetics shop.

That's a rather sultry pose for metal detecting, isn't it?

Now enter into town Professor Cleveland and his daughter.  They're on an expedition to try and uncover the remains of a giant Spanish conquistador that was allegedly buried in the surrounding mountains by Indians some five hundred years earlier.  Supposedly, said Spaniard was part of the Ptolemy Firello expedition and mutinied along with several others.  They went off into the mountains in search of gold never to be seen or heard from again.  They run into Wayne, who attended some of the professor's lectures and offers his help.  The Sheriff, being his dickhead self gives the prof. a bit of a problem regarding some tent poles sticking out of his jeep.....and then warns them about the company they keep, alluding to Wayne.

Lookie what Janet found!  Sorta.

Peek-a-Boo!

Of course Wayne and Janet are giving each other the googily eyes from the get go and the professor is fine with that, so long as Wayne shares some of his finds with him in his lab.  The trio sets out into the wilderness in search of the big guy.  In a hilarious, but very un-PC scene, Wayne and The Professor are setting out to make  a sweep with their metal detectors and Janet asks what she can do.  The Prof states:  "Well, you've made the beds so now you can do the dishes and clean up."  It was at this point that my wife let out a rather incredulous laugh.  Nuthin like a little 1950's Good Housekeeping mentality.  Oh yeah and they look at one of the most hilarious and awesome maps I've seen in a long, long time.

Best.  Map.  Ever.

Of course our Giant reanimates and rises from his rather odd resting place and starts to wreck havoc anew.  The Giant is your standard mute brute, running about crushing folks.  There is a scene that manages to create quite a creepy atmosphere towards the end where Wayne and Sheriff Parker go looking for Indian Joe and find him dead in his shack.  Then it's basically your standard mob vs monster chase through the woods.  The end is a bit of a cop-out and while I"m not going to ruin it, it was not at all a befitting end to the giant fiend.

Hey Indian Joe, we were just wonderi-

Oh.  Um.  Nevermind.

Midnight Cinephile Tally:

Body Count:  5 people die in total as a direct result of the monster.


Boob Count:  Get real, kid, this flick was made in 1958!


Beast Count:  ONE!  But, he's a big ol' bruiser!



Final Thoughts:
If you are a fan of 50's B-Movies, then there is a a very strong chance that you will love Giant from the Unknown.  The DVD transfer (as well as the streaming from Netflix and Amazon) is absolutely amazing.  It is quite crisp and clear with good sound, which to be perfectly honest, is astounding.  This is a film that is best watched with a like minded cinephile, but  if you've got some snacks and drinks, you'll have a blast!


Final Rating:
Four out of Five Pizza Rolls!

What good is it to be an evil Giant, if you're not gonna steal a girl?

Axe vs. stick.  Who will win?

That bridge looks a little unsteady....

The Dungeonmaster

  This is one of those films that I saw as a kid and it stuck with me.  I rented the video from Video Paradise (our little Mom & Pop shop on Main St. in the town I grew up in.) which sadly no longer exists.  I must have rented it about 2 dozen times, much to the chagrin of my poor father who would beg and plead with me to rent something different.  Now remember....this was in the 80's when it cost about $80 to buy a movie, so just buying me a copy certainly wasn't an option at that point.

The movie appealed to everything that I loved as a kid:  Monsters, magic, computers, sci-fi, horror....it was all in there, rolled into one cassette tape.  To me it was the greatest movie ever made.  Ya know what?  I still love it just as much.  Sure I can see it's flaws now, but it for me it didn't lose any of it's charm.

The film is about a nerd (Paul) who's girlfriend (Gwen) is jealous of him and his computer (XCaliBR8.....Excalibrate....or EXCALIBUR?!?!??!?!?   Hhhmmmmmmm.....) which Paul seems to like to spend more time with.  It doesn't help that Paul has given his machine a smokey, sultry female voice.  Not that Cal (XCaliBR8's nickname) is anything to sneeze at.  She can help Paul swindle money out of ATM's, change traffic lights and scan equipment for defects.  Where can I get one?!  Anywhoo....after Paul has some strange dreams, he wakes up to find Gwen gone.  After searching around the apartment for her he's transported to another realm that is presided over by Mestema (Played by Richard Moll!  Yep!!!  Bull from Night Court!).  Or as you and I may know him...Beelzibub, Satan, etc, etc. He's the devil, and he is curious about Paul's computer.  Surely this magical machine that he wields makes Paul a worthy opponent for Mestema and therefor, dubbed Exalibrate!  Not only that, but Mestemo transfigures his rather large desktop computer into a super compact wristband computer.

Paul is then given the chance to free himself and Gwen.  All he has to do is complete the seven challenges that Mestema sets before him.  You'd think that Satan would give him like 6 tests.....or 13.....but nope.  Lucky Number 7.  I dunno.  Anywhoo...this is where stuff gets.....er....interesting, because though this is a Charles Band film, it boasts 7 different directors in total.  One for each challenge....except for the Heavy Metal Challenge....which Band directed.  Okay let's go for it kids!

Challenge #1:  Stone Canyon Giant (Directed by David Allen) - Paul is sent to a mountainous environment inhabited by little dwarfs that are called Cliffdwellers.  They steal Cal off his arm and run as fast as their little legs will take them.  Paul gives chase and gets Cal back just in time to face off against an awesome stop motion Stone Giant.  Using Cal's new found laser beam application (There WAS an app for that!) he calculates the exact trajectory needed...blah blah blah (in other words, he had Cal AIM) to hit the gemstone on the Giant's head.  Which makes the Giant blow up.  

Challenge #2:  Demons of the Dead (Directed by John Buechler) - Paul is next sent to a cave full of undead warriors and zombies.  They don't seem to offer much of a challenge for Paul as he easily pushes past them and knocks them down.  The Undead Cave is ruled by Ratspit.....a strange little creature that Paul comes across.  As more zombies flank him, he destroys them all by hitting the gemstone on top of Ratspit's staff.   (Hhhh.....I  think i might see a pattern emerging here....).  Mestema tells Paul that in a future reality he is dead.  Paul then retorts with the now popular meme "I reject your reality and substitute my own!"  Apparently this is enough for Paul to win this Challenge.

Challenge #3:  Heavy Metal (Directed by Charles Band) - This is probably the weirdest of Paul's Challenges.  Gwen is being held hostage by a satanic heavy metal group (played by real group WASP!).  Gwen is going to be massacred on stage unless Paul can somehow stop the evil musicians.  Once again, Paul relies on Cal to find the right frequency to overpower and destroy the band.  

Challenge #4:  Ice Gallery (Directed by Rosemarie Turko) - This Challenge is another weird one.  Paul and Gwen are transported to a cave full of frozen figures including The Wolfman, an African Head Hunter, A Mummy, Jack the Ripper......there's some other guys in there I don't remember....there might have been a samurai.....but in the middle of all this is Albert Einstein.  Naturally, all the figures come to life and close in on Paul and Gwen.  This is one of the few times that Paul doesn't use Cal.  He takes a crystal that Einstein is holding and smashes it and wins the challenge.

Challenge #5: Slasher (Directed by Steve Ford) - This is the most "realistic" challenge that Paul must face.  He's dropped into a city and given a time limit to find Gwen before she becomes the next victim of a serial killer.  Paul starts to navigate the streets and ends up getting arrested by two of the most retarded cops I've ever seen.  He escapes police custody and manages to find Gwen just in the nick of time.  Giving the serial killer a zap from good ol' trusty Cal.  

Challenge #6:  Cave Beast (Directed by Peter Manoogian) - This one is a mind boggler.  Paul enters a cave.  A troll like monster starts to throw explosive crystal shards at him.  Before he and Cal can figure out the best way to deal with the Cave Beast, it accidentally mortally wounding itself.  It then turns onto an angel-ish woman who tells Paul that Mestema captured her and transformed her into the hideous Cave Beast.  Challenge over.  Man.....that was easy.  Along the same lines as getting points on your SAT just for writing your name on it!

Challenge #7:  Desert Persuit (Directed by Ted Nicolaou) -   Complete and total Mad Max rip-off.  I don't really remember a whole lot about this one, because frankly I thought this challenge sucked.  The friggin' suicidal Cave Beast was more exciting!  It's basically a Road Warrior-esque vehicle chase....and then Mestema decides to cheat and crashes his vehicle into Pauls....or something like that.

Well, now that Paul has "lost" the final challenge, it would seem that Paul and Gwen must forfeit their souls to Mestema.  However, Paul challenges him to a fair physical fight.  No computers, no magic.  Mestema accepts and against all odds, Paul manages to overcome his adversary.

So there you have it.  That is The Dungeonmaster in a nutshell.  This is another great Friday night Pizza Movie.  If you think this sounds like a fun time (and it is!) you can check it out streaming on Netflix!  Plunk down in front of your computer or even better yet on your couch and stream through your game console.

Speaking of game consoles, I think that this would have made an awesome NES game!  The different challenges would work out perfectly as stages!  And while we're on the subject of games, here's a little trivia for you:  When the film was retitled The Dungeonmaster (no doubt to cash in on the popularity of AD&D) it actually carried a disclaimer in it's print ads which read:  "This film is not endorsed by, or associated with T.S.R. Inc., publishers of the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons game."!!!

Some other interesting tidbits for ya....the film has three different English language titles:  

The Dungeonmaster (US Title)

RageWar (UK title)

Digital Knights (Alternative Title)

And some interesting foreign titles....

Il demone delle galassie infernali (The Demon of Hell Galaxies)
O Mestre do Jogo (The Game Master)
Saatanan lunnaat (Satan's Ransom)
Wladca podziemi (Lord of the Underworld)

Personally, I like the title, The Demon of Hell Galaxies!  Sounds so badass!

One final treat for ya....here's the trailer!  Enjoy!

Tales From The Darkside - Hush

I miss the Friday nights of my youth.  Things were so much simpler then.  At 1:50, the school bell rang and I knew that the weekend was once again upon us.  My older sister and I would get home from school just as my Dad was getting ready to go to work.  We would watch our younger sister (Hi Katie!)  until my mother would get home about 4:30.  After Mom got home, she'd make us dinner and then Friday night was Mom's designated grocery shopping night.  Ah, Friday night grocery shopping.....that was a magical experience unto itself, but perhaps a story best left for another time.

The groceries would be put away by 7:30....then it was time to get into our PJ's and get ready for some TGIF action on ABC!  Man....I could go on and on about TGIF on ABC too...Family Matters, Full House, Step by Step, Just the Ten of Us, Dinosaurs (NOT THE MAMA!)), Perfect Strangers.....so many incredibly awesome sitcoms on Friday nights.  Mom would usually pick up a frozen pizza or (YUM) pizza rolls to snack on.  Oh....those delicious little nuggets of pizza goodness.  When I die, I want to be buried with a casket full of pizza rolls.  Or maybe in a casket made out of a giant pizza roll....yes, I love them THAT much!

After a good solid 2 hours of  sitcom comedy gold (at least as far as my 13 year old self was concerned), my Mom would head to bed at 10.  My younger sister would already be asleep and my older sister would sometimes be downstairs with me.....sometimes in her room doing whatever it is that 16 year old girls do in their rooms.  I dunno.  My Dad worked 2nd shift and didn't get home until 11:30. Anyway, at 10pm, on good ol' Channel 50 WNDS (The Winds of New England.....New Hampshire station that used to show awesome stuff) would show re-runs of Monsters and Tales From The Darkside at 10 and 10:30 respectively.  Also WNDS was home to Al Kaprielian....also known as Weird Al Kaprielian.....the awesome meteorologist who would start each weather segment saying "Good eeeeevnening everyone!"  This guy is so awesome his loyal fanbase is known as the Kult of Kaprielian!  Yeah, he's THAT awesome.

I was alone downstairs on this particular occasion.  There were still some cold pizza rolls left over from earlier in the evening, so I loaded up the rest of them, poured myself a big ol' glass of coke  and hunkered down for a little double dose of horror!  To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure what episode of Monsters was on before hand....but part of my wants to say that it was Pillow Talk.....which is about a guy who has a pet bed monster thing that likes to eat half naked women that the guy takes home for a one night snack...er...stand.  That was a cool episode......Here check it out for yourself:

See?  That was pretty awesome.  You can totally see the "twist" ending coming, but it's still pretty damn cool.  Monstsers was a perfect pairing with Tales From The Darkside.  You were guaranteed a Monster in each episde (though there were a few where the definitinon of "Monster" was stretched quite thin!) while TFTD could cover everything from monsters, to ghosts, voodoo and everything in between.

The Intro do Tales From The Darkside was simply the stuff of nightmares.  An insanely creepy piano riff played while the narrator informed us that there is a darkside that exists unknown to most....lurking just below the sunlight world of what we believe to be reality.  It completely set the tone for the show....even when it was a less than impressive episode, it always somehow seemed that much creepier....just because it was prefaced with that intro.  Seriously.  Watch THIS:

Spooky stuff, right?  I told ya!   That is pure terror to a kid, trust me.  What came next however kept me huddled to my spot on the couch.  The episode was of course, Hush.  A girl named Jennifer goes to babysit a young boy named Buddy.  Buddy is a bit of an inventor and shows Jennifer all of his little electronic Frankenstein creations, including a device he calls a noise eater....which basically looks like a vacuum cleaner with some extra doodads attached to it.  Well, wouldn't ya know it, the damn thing malfunctions and takes on a life of it's own., sucking the sound out everything.  Unfortunately if it is a living creature that is making the sound, it will aslo suck the life right out of it. 

What ensues next is a cat and mouse game with Jennifer and Buddy trying to hide from this monstrosity as it systematically hunts for any sounds to consume.  Oh yeah, Buddy's got some allergies too.....which make for some rather tense moments as they hide from the Noise Eater.  The acting is pretty good in the episode....thought the noise eater is a bit wonky looking.  Re-watching this episode years later, it still holds a creepy vibe, I think....though it is no where near as terrifying as I found it that Friday night so long ago.

Why don't ya go ahead and watch it and tell me what you think!

I was going to talk a bit about USA Up All Night, but that is best left for another time.
I hope that you enjoyed the episode, as well as the extra bonus episode of Monsters.  I also hope that you enjoyed the little stroll down memory lane with me...until next time.....try to stay in the light!