Renfield (2023)

This has been a truly special weekend for me. 

First of all, I launched Midnight Cinephile again and I've been getting the most wonderful comments from folks welcoming me back. Honestly and truly, I would like to say "Thank You!" from the bottom of my heart.  I truly feel like I've come back home.

Along those same sentiments, this entire weekend has had a certain feel to it that I was unable to put words to for pretty much the entire duration of it. A certain warmth (besides the unusual heat for early April!) has been festering inside my chest. It was not until this afternoon when we were leaving the theater watching the very same film about to be reviewed, that it finally hit me right between the eyes what the feeling was. 

I finally feel like my life is righting course. After so long, I felt like I was finally turning back into me again....and let me tell you something:  I've missed me.  But there's plenty of time for self reflection later, right now we've got a film to review!  Let's do this thing!

RENFIELD (2023)

Rated R - 1hr 33min

Starring Nicholas Cage, Awkwafina & Nicholas Hoult 

Directed by Chris McKay

    Let me just start this review by saying that there is a certain action sequence that takes place about midway through the film that I have been waiting for my entire life. Light spoilers ahead so if you don't want to know ANYTHING about the film before watching, skip the rest of this paragraph.  I'll wait. Okay, you still here?  Groovy.  ******  There is an action sequence in which I literally watched a man rip off another man's arms and not only beat him to death with them, but also several other people as well!  He also does something else with the arms but you're just going to have to watch to find out what!  ******

    Robert Montague Renfield (Hoult)  was a lawyer who travelled to Transylvania to facilitate a real estate deal with Count Dracula (Cage). As I'm sure you are aware, he falls under the vampires spell and spends the rest of his existence doing his evil master's bidding. That is the story that we are all familiar (see what I did there?) with. This film takes a much deeper look at the character and just what it means to serve the Prince of Darkness...the toll it takes on your soul and your sanity.  Did I mention this is also a comedy?

    We follow Renfield and Dracula to modern times in the U.S. living in an abandoned hospital.  Dracula got himself pretty fucked up after a run in with some vampire hunters and (as always) Renfield must tend to him and nurse him back to health by supplying fresh victims. The thing is...he's tired of sending innocent people to their deaths, so he starts attending a self help group for people in toxic relationships. As he listens to these poor souls work out their demons, he finds their toxic counterparts and takes them to his master for feeding. Dracula is less than pleased with the...shall we say....less than pure stock of blood being supplied to him.

    Meanwhile, a local crime family is causing massive problems for the law abiding citizens and officer Rebecca Quincy (Awkwafina) has had enough.  Her father was murdered at the hands of the vile Lobo crime family, some of the police force is crooked and on the take and she doesn't know who she can trust.  She shows up at a joint called Mulates, which looks like it has a very New Orleans/Voodoo kinda vibe to it.  In short, I wish it was real place. Just so happens that Renfield is there, searching for victims (there a table full of nuns AND a school bus full of cheerleaders just dropped in too!) and feeling quite sorry for himself.  When he see's Quincy stand up to the son of the crime boss, Renfield is inspired.  Perhaps he doesn't have to live in Dracula's shadow any longer.

    Long story short, Renfield and Quincy take out quite a few members of the Lobo Crime Syndicate. Renfield starts taking steps toward recovery from his own toxic relationship, starting with a new wardrobe and a studio apartment of his very own.  Could there be some romance brewing between him and Quincy?  Could be but there's not going to be much to for that because this is after all an action-horror-comedy.  Shit goes sideways.  Of course it does. I'm not going to go any further with plot....just the set up.

    Renfield absolutely delivers on everything it promises and actually quite a bit more.  I was expecting to be entertained by the film, but I was surprised by HOW entertained I was.  Universal decided to put it into an April slot, but I think that this could have easily held it's own during summer blockbuster season. Well, let me walk that back a wee bit.  It could hold up to most summer blockbuster seasons...maybe not against the likes of  Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny and Transformers: Rise of the Beasts...those are pretty heavy hitters.  But still.....I think it would have done just fine. I think that Renfield is going to find itself a cult following quite quickly.

    Let's get a bit more cerebral here. This is a Hollywood film. A Universal film at that.  Which means that they have at their disposal certain...shall we say...historical footage of Dracula.  I'm 100% sure if the actual footage from 1931's Dracula was used and then deep faked with Cage and Hoult overtaking Lugosi and Frye, or if it was just and extremely faithful recreation. To be honest it was such a surprise to me that I was taking it all in and did not get to scrutinize it.  Either way, holy shit what an incredible sequence!  If you ask me, THIS is the sort of shit they should have been doing with their failed "Dark Universe" that started and ended with Tom Cruise's The Mummy. I could get behind trying a shared Universal Monster Universe again if they went the same direction as Renfield.

    Renfield is a pretty intensely gory film.  Having said that, it would have been nice if a little more blood was practical effects.  Granted CGI blood has made leaps and bounds since the days of say, Van Helsing, but still....you can always tell the real stuff from the digital stuff.  Either way, red is red and there was a metric shit ton of it.  I'm not sure EXACTLY how much a metric shit ton is, cause I live in the states and we used the ill advised Imperial System.  Which, also only used in Liberia and Myanmar...you're welcome for the brief Geographic Units of Measure Lesson™.  Anyway, it's a lot.  Not like Dead Alive or Evil Dead levels, but it's got some gore.

    The film also comes with a strong message about toxic relationships and self worth and it can beat you over the head with it a little bit, but you know what? In this toxic, hate filled world we live in, we could use a little positive reinforcement, even in our action-horror-comedy flicks. So there's that. If you get upset when people try to spread a positive message, perhaps sit this one out.

On a final note, it was SO GREAT to get back to a theater. The Mrs. and I used to be at the movies constantly and a lot of that went to the wayside the past few years. It was so great to get back into it and I loved every second of it! 

Let's bring up the Midnight Cinephile Tallies!

BLOOD & GORE:  Wear a plastic poncho if you're sitting in the front row!

ALIENS, MONSTERS & MADMEN:  Monster royalty right here:  The Prince of Darkness himself: Dracula!  

T&A:  Negative, good buddy!  

FINAL THOUGHTS:  This is a super fun flick that goes well with greasy fistfuls of popcorn and a nice ice cold soda. Let the summer blockbuster season begin...we're off the a great start! 

CHECK OUT THE LETHAL WEAPON 3 PINBALL MACHINE AT OUR THEATER!

Waxwork - Waxing Nostalgic on Terror

Waxwork
1988
Directed by Anthony Hickox
Written by Anthony Hickox

Starrring Zach Galligan, Deborah Foreman & Michelle Johnson

Rated R - Approx 95 Min
Vestron Pictures



Taglines:
- Stop On By And Give Afterlife A Try.
- More Fun Than a Barrel of Mummies

- You Can Step Inside The Hall of Horrors - But Dare You Pay The Price?






Alternate Titles:
Museo de Cera (Wax Museum) - Argentina
A Passagem (The Passage) - Brazil
Illusione infernale (Illusion of Hell) - Italy
Benvenuti al museo delle cere (Welcome to the Wax Museum) - Italy
 Il museo delle cere è arrivato in città (The Wax Museum Has Come To Town) - Italy
La mansión del horror (The Horror Mansion) - Mexico
Figury z wosku  (Figures of Wax)- Poland
Музей восковых фигур (Wax Museum Figures) - Russia

Reise zurück in der Zeit (Travel Back in Time) - West Germany


"I do what I want, WHEN I want.  Dig it or fuck off."
                                                                                       -China

Another fun little flick from the late 80's, Waxwork manages to cram all the classic monsters into it's 95 minute run-time and then some....what's not to love?  You've got Zah Galligan (Billy from Gremlins!) playing  a well to do and snobbish teen.  You've got Deborah Foreman (the Valley Girl herself!) as the love interest, and you've got Patrick Macnee in one hell of a weird role.

It's Billy!   Er....I mean.....Mark.

It all starts innocently enough when Sarah (Foreman) and China (Johnson) are given free passes to a midnight showing of the Waxwork that just set up shop in town.  They invite their friends along and decide to make a night of it.  That of course is when things take a hard left into the Twilight Zone.  When one of the teens drops his lighter inside the wax display of a werewolf, he steps over the velvet rope to retrieve it, at which point he is instantly transported to the world inside the display.  Unfortunately for him, that world is inhabited by a werewolf.  There is a fun little cameo here by John Rhy-Davies.  I would also like to point out that he changes into one of the most ridiculous looking werewolves I've ever seen.  It's so weird and wonky I can't even put my finger on exactly what makes it so fucked-up looking.  Anyway long story short, the teen get's bitten and starts to change into a werewolf himself.  He is then permanently and prominently displayed along side the werewolf as part of the waxwork.

WTF???  What is wrong with this werewolf?  I think it's the ears now that I look at it...

Oh, so THAT'S where the Steak Tartar came from!

China, meanwhile, decides to get a better look at the Dracula display and also crosses the velvet rope into Dracula's realm.  Once again, I have to say that this version of Dracula seems.....off somehow.  Maybe it's because he's played by Miles O'Keeffe, who you might know better as Ator!  You remember Ator, The Fighting Eagle, don't cha?  Of course you do......sword and sandal storytelling at it's cheesiest!  Somehow though, he just doesn't pull of the Dracula thing.  For a fine example of the awkwardness, look no further than his conversation with China about Steak Tartar.  Friggin' weird.

Monster Dance Party!  Oh, I hope they play Thriller!

Well after China and what's-his-nuts-werewolf-boy go missing, Mark and Sarah leave the Waxwork, thinking that the other two have decided to run off together for some super-fun-happy-naked-time.  When they don't show up for school the next day, Mark brings in the police to investigate the strange Waxwork.  Unfortunately for Inspector Roberts (Inspector??? What is this, The Pink Panther?) he ends up in The Mummy's exhibit.  This is one of the better sequences in the film.  The Mummy is pretty cool looking and this above all other parts of the movie holds the greatest nostalgia for me.  See my Final Thoughts for more on that.

Sarah is held captive (sorta) by the Marquis de Sade inside his display and it's up to Mark to save her.  He ends up going through several displays before he gets to her, which makes for a fun montage and send-up of various horror flicks.  My favorite being the Night of the Living Dead sequence which is even filmed in black and white!

Kinkiness abound at the Marquis de Sade's display!

If you think it's been a roller coaster ride thus far, just wait until you see the unbelievable climax with a bunch of geriatric old warhorses laying siege to the mansion's waxwork and all it's property.  You ain't lived until you've seen Patrick Macnee in a wheel chair all decked out in camo, brandishing a sword and shouting "TALLY HO!"  Trust me, it's awesome.


GORE
There is some good gore on display here.  In the basement of Dracula's castle is a man who's leg has been stripped to the bone as he lays on a table.  The Mummy steps on and crushes a praying man's head, the werewolf mauls a man and more!

T&A
Not this time, boys.  While there's no nudity there is some eroticism going on over at The Marquis de Sade's display.....kinky!

MONSTERS
There's a regular rogues gallery of creatures on display here;  Dracula, The Mummy, a werewolf, Pod People, Zombies, Aliens and more!

It's The Mummy!!!!!

FINAL THOUGHTS
I  first became aware of this film thanks to an old short lived TV show that I used to watch on USA called Shadow Theater.  I believe I've mentioned it here, but I'll give ya the rundown on it again, just in case.  Shadow Theater was a clip show hosted by Robert Englund.  It was the very first episode that aired the clip from Waxwork...and it was (more or less) The Mummy sequence.  I was enthralled and (having recorded the show) watched it over and over.

It wasn't too long after that I caught a heavily edited version of the film on The Sci-Fi Channel back in the days before it was Syfy.  It was double featured with it's sequel Waxwork II: Lost in Time on Moonlight Matinee.  It wouldn't be until the "Video Store Excursions" that I mentioned in the CHUD II review that I came across the VHS tape and finally watched the un-edited film.

FINAL RATING

Jones Halloween Soda - Hitting Your Taste Buds Up With A Dose of Nostalgia

With the Halloween Season in full swing now, I took a little trip down to Target.  They always seem to have the best Halloween themed products (I'm looking at YOU Candy Corn flavored Oreos!) and hands down the BEST Halloween Candy selection I've ever seen!  All those delicious treats can make you a bit thirst though.  What to do.....what to do......I know!  How about some Halloween Soda!

The Jones Soda Company has partnered up with Target to exclusively sell their line of Halloween inspired soda flavors.  They come in an 8oz. can and they are beyond awesome.  There are four flavors in all....so let's check 'em out!


Candy Corn

First up we've got Candy Corn flavor!  The can itself is awesome with a vicious Paul Naschy lookin' werewolf snarling.  I think it's pretty awesome that they didn't just go for some goofy "kiddie toon" werewolf.  Naw, this beast will rip you up and ruin your night if he gets a hold on you! That's what I'm talking 'bout!

When I cracked open the can, there was a very heavy sugary smell.  Which is pretty much what I expected from a Candy Corn flavored soda.  The color is a very appropriate and Halloweeny orange.  There was a fair amount of fizz which I liked.  Flat soda sucks.

Okay, enough lookin' at it, let's give it a sip......

If I was blindfolded and I tasted this, my first guess might be some sort of extra sweet cream soda.  After the first sip more of the the candy corn flavor comes through.  If you like candy corn, then I would imagine that you'd like this.  Definitely not that kinda soda that you'd wanna chug....but it makes for a nice sipping drink while watching The Werewolf vs. The Vampire Woman!

Flavor Rating:
B-


Blood Orange

Next up, Blood Orange!  This can is awesome.  The vampire on it reminds me of the vampire shown on the cover of the NES game Monster Party...so automatically it gets awesome points!  Look!  Told ya!  When I was picking this up at the store, I actually didn't look at what the flavor was, and I thought it was a grape flavor!  Only when I cracked it open did I realize it was orange.

When I opened the can, I was surprised to be greeted by a dry orange smell.  When I say dry, I mean it's not super sweet smelling like Sunkist or Fanta....it smelled more like Polar's Orange drink....you know the one, right?   The color is an orange/red color, which is quite fitting for a blood orange!

Time to taste......

This one is actually really good!  It has a bit of a bitterness to it, just like a blood orange and it does have that "dry" kinda thing going on which is hard to explain, but I really enjoyed this one!  Highly recommended, though I must say that of all the flavors, this one does not evoke a Halloween feel...


Flavor Rating:
A


Caramel Apple

Of all the flavors, I was most excited to try this one.  I LOVE candy apples....especially the caramel ones.  Once again, the artwork on the can is outstanding.  We've got a goopy zombie with an eyeball hanging out.  It kinda reminds me of a Madball.  Remember Madballs?  Those things were awesome.

I was downright surprised when I opened this can up!  It actually smelled like caramel apples!  This one definitely gets the prize for best smelling of the bunch.  Thoughts of making caramel apples as a kid flooded my memory.  Opening this can instantly transported me to many a Halloween past.  As I poured it into the glass, I was surprised to find that it had a the appearance of cola.  I'm not sure what color I was expecting.....but the color really isn't all that important, now is it?

Okay, let's take a sip of this bad boy.......

Hhmmm....the caramel comes through quite strong with a sorta apple finish to it.  This reminds me a bit of caramel apple Milky Way bars they're selling this year.  It's really hard to describe.  I think that this is about as close to caramel apple as one can possibly get with a soda.  After a few more sips and some contemplation, I must say I do like it quite a bit!

Flavor Rating:
B+


Red Licorice

Frankenstein adorns the can of the last flavor.  Once again the artwork is great.  Looks life Frankie got a little jacked up here.  Reminds me of the low budget schlock films from the 60's and 70's.  I'm not talking about the Hammer Frankenstein films...oh no....I mean the SCHLOCKY ones, like Dracula vs Frankenstein!

When I cracked this one open, I was expecting a strong fruity/sugary smell.  Instead I got....well....almost nothing.  There was a very faint smell but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.  Undeterred, I poured myself a glass (by the way....if you decide to review soda......take you're time.  Don't be like me and drink four cans in a ten minute span......that's just dumb.) and was pleased to see a nice bright red color.

Last flavor....let's see how it tastes.......

Wow.  Strictly from an emulation standpoint, I would have to say that they nailed it!  This tastes like they took Red Vines and liquefied them.  I'm not going to lie, I was hoping for more of a Twizzler flavor, but this is really quite good.  I wish I had a Twizzler that I could use as a straw!  This being the last of the flavors, I decided to get a handful of ice and enjoy this at a slower pace.  The insane amount of sugar coursing through my veins demanded it!

Flavor Rating:
A-

I've had other stuff from Jones Soda before and I've yet to find a flavor that I dislike, so I knew going into this that I was more than likely going to enjoy each of these.  If I had to put these in order of preference (which is not based solely on flavor, but on full presentation and ability to maximize Halloween fun!) it would go a little something like this:

#1 Red Licorice
#2 Caramel Apple
#3 Blood Orange
#4 Candy Corn

I've been sipping on my Red Licorice soda while writing this review and I just took the last sip.  I think I might be addicted to it now.  The thought that it will disappear like so many specters at the end of the season has me in a panic attack.  I need to stock up.  I'm probably going to to become addicted to the others as well.

Welp....thems the breaks!

I leave you now with some Spooky Fun:

Merry October! Eat, Drink and Be Scary!

It is officially two hours into October and I couldn't be more excited.  I've already watched Garfield's Halloween Adventure.  Twice.  I've already got a bowl of candy (which is half gone) sitting in the kitchen.  I've been getting into the Halloween spirit since mid September.....which I'm sure doesn't surprise you.  As soon as I see the displays start to go up in the stores, I feel a spark of excitement.  Dunkin Donuts has already had the pumpkin spice coffee and apple cider available for about a month now and I've been enjoying that to no end as well!

As I mentioned, I've already watched Garfield twice....and I just may watch him one more time before the witching hour strikes and I go to bed.  I covered his Halloween Adventure last year, so this year I am going to take a look at some of the other Halloween specials that you may not know about or even remember!  Will I cover The Great Pumpkin?  Meh.  Maybe, maybe not.  I still find Charlie Brown to be highly overrated....but I have come to appreciate him more in my old age.

So sit back, relax......grab a fun sized Butterfinger and a candy apple.  October is an amazing month and I'm looking forward to enjoying every second of it, right up through All Hallows Eve.  I've got my Halloween Specials fired up and ready to go.  Perhaps I'll even take a look back at some spooky shows from yesteryear.  Here's a little teaser of what'll be coming yer way this month!

An oldie but a goodie!  Say what you will, but Disney does Halloween right!

......Case in point with this Donald Duck classic!

Yes, he stole Christmas....but did you know that Halloween is Grinch Night?

Hey Hey Hey!  It's the Fat Albert Halloween Special! 

Halloween just isn't complete without Rockula and Frankenstone!

I'm going to be honest.  I saw this once years ago and I don't remember anything about it.

More Disney fun with the Halloween Hall of Fame!

With the new Sleepy Hollow TV show on FOX, this seems appropriate!

Things get spooky on the Muppets around Halloween as well!

Even Alice Cooper gets in on some Muppet action!

More required Halloween viewing for me.  Yeah, I've seen this a million times, but it's tradition!

Anyone remember this short lived series from the 90's?   Didn't think so.

I'm actually really looking forward to revisiting this show!

If I remember correctly, this show was pretty......erm........freaky.

C'mon....you're not NOT going to watch Freddy's Nightmares!

Likewise, it ain't Halloween without the Treehouse of Terror!

I just wanted to throw this in because I love it.

I remember almost nothing from this show.....except that the previews scared me as a kid.