Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers - Return of the Campy Slasher

Sleepaway Camp II:  Unhappy Campers
1988
D: Michael Simpson
W: Fritz Gordon & Robert Hiltzik
S: Pamela Springsteen,  Renée Estevez, Tony Higgins
Rate R - Approx. 80 Minutes
Double Helix Films

Taglines:
 - ...and they thought it was just another ghost story!
 - When you go camping just take the essentials

Alternate Titles:
Nightmare Vacation II
Sinister Camp II (Brazil)
Bloody Camp II (Spain)
Nightmarish Vacation (Greece)
Angel of Death II (Hungary)
Dormant Camp 2: Sad Campers (Poland)
Eternal Dream Camp II: Unhappy Campers (Russia)
The Camp of Horror II (West Germany)




" Too bad they haven't figured out a way to make french fries nutritious. I'm a NUT when it comes to french fries!"
                                                                                               -Angela

If you are reading this then I would think that it's safe to assume that you have seen the original Sleepaway Camp.....but in the event that we've got a few stragglers, I will avoid spoiling the shock ending of the first film.  But seriously, if you haven't seen it, you really should rectify that immediately.

Sleepaway Camp II is exactly my cup of tea.  I've got a soft spot for camp movies, especially when they're horror films.  Having grown up and lived in New England my entire life, I've spent a good amount of time in the woods and wilderness and the rustic vibe that these types of films put out just warm the cockles of my heart.  Plus it's just fun to watch teens get slashed up at camp.

Can't have a camp flick without a campfire tale!

Spying on the girls is always fun.......

Now it's going to be impossible to avoid ALL spoilers for the first film, so if you don't want to know ANYTHING, then now would be a good time to stop reading until you're all caught up!

Okay, we good now?

Perfect.

So, we find ourselves at Camp Rolling Hills and Angela (who killed everyone in the first film) is now a camp counselor.  She's been through extensive psychiatric care and rehabilitation and is all better.  Things are going great.  Until she perceives that the teens at camp are misbehaving....then the killings start all over again.  That is the interesting thing with Angela.  Her M.O. is killing kids whom she perceives to be doing bad things:  Having sex, doing drugs, acting like normal teenagers.  That's how so got her nickname in the first film:  The Angel of Death.  She's kinda a holier than thou type when it comes to morals.

Guess it runs in the family!

There's always gotta be at least one attention whore

The kills are all pretty fun.  There's decapitations, hangings, death by battery acid, power drills.....you name it.  The body count is rather impressive as well.....Angel certainly is not shy about murdering teens!  After a teen is murdered, they're hidden away and to explain their disappearance, Angela states that she had to send them home for bad behavior.  By the end of the film, there aren't a whole lot of campers left and she's still using the same excuse.  It's rather comical.

Sleepaway Camp is played out as a horror-comedy.  Never shying away from the gore, the film also keeps the dialog light and cheesy, especially as Angela quips one liners after (or during) many of her kills.  The film has fun in other ways, for example all the characters are named after popular 80's teen actors.....Molly (Ringwald), Ally (Sheedy), Demi (Moore), Anthony (Michael Hall), etc.  There are two characters named Charlie and Emilio (obviously for Sheen and Estevez) which is kinda cool when you realize that Molly is played by Renee Estevez, their sister!  Speaking of actors having famous siblings, Angela is played by Pamela Springsteen...sister to none other than The Boss himself!  Yep, Bruce Springsteen's baby sister is a slasher!

Smoking is bad for you.  You're FIRED!

Me thinks someone wandered in from a different film....

If you dig camp flicks....especially slasher camp flicks then you'll definitely dig Sleepaway Camp II.  Just know what you're getting into.  This is a low budget slasher flick.  It's MEANT to be silly, stupid and campy.  Pun intended.  The film was shot back to back with Sleepaway Camp III:  Teenage Wasteland, which is kinda cool because the two sequels share a very similar vibe.

GORE
Oh yeah, there's plenty of the red stuff flowing here.  As I mentioned before the body count is pretty high.  I don't have an exact number but it's definitely in the teens.  Not bad, Angela!

T&A
Ya can't have a camp flick without T&A!  There's plenty of skin on display here, so you boob lovers will be all set.

MONSTERS
Just your average camp counselor psychopath knocking off horny young teens!

Getting drowned in the outhouse is a shitty way to go!

Peeping Toms get their eyes gouged out!

FINAL THOUGHTS
I had a hell of a lot of fun with this flick (and it's sequel, which I will cover next).  Both can be found and watched on Netflix streaming (and of course you can rent the discs from Netflix as well) and Amazon Instant Video.  Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some camp songs to learn........

Muck - Night of the Albino Booby Bandits

Muck
2015
D: Steve Wolsh
W: Steve Wolsh

S: Lachlan Buchanan, Puja Mohindra, Bryce Draper
Not Rated - Approx 90 Min.
WithAnO Productions

Tagline:
 - The Lucky Ones Are Already Dead

Alternate Titles:
None










*********************WARNING**********************************************NSFW*************************



"How can to take a piss at a time like this?"
                                                                       -Chandi

 Okay.  This is going to be a bit of a challenge for me.  I'm going to be completely honest and up front with you:  I hated this movie.  I try my best not to be negative and if you've read Midnight Cinephile for any length of time you know I take a firm stance against movie bashing.  So I am going to go ahead and try and review this film without harping on the negatives too much.  Bear with me.

Our "Heroes"

We start out with a bang as a group of friends come crashing out of some boggy marshes.  First out is a chick wearing a bra & panties and heavy rubber fishing boots.  Her friends soon join her.  One of them is clearly pretty seriously injured.  It's unknown what the hell happened because they are all spouting and shouting lines like "What the fuck WAS that?" and "OH NO!  Tony's dead!"  Who's Tony?  I have no idea.   But apparently he died a gruesome death.  Also somebody named Ava is still out in the marshes and who knows what's happened to her.  Roll the opening credits.  And we get our first gratuitous booby shots.  I guess it's supposed to be Ava romping around the swamp wearing only panties.

Only 5 minutes in.  Boobs.

Shower Boobs.

Playboy Playmate Boobs.  That you never really get to see.  

Our intrepid heroes (?) just happened to have stumbled across a vacated vacation home.  Oh yeah, this takes place on Cape Cod....not that it matters.  They bust into the vacation home, raid the liquor cabinet, whine about being in danger and act like idiotic 20-somethings.  Steve...or Bobby...or whatever the hell his name is....the seriously injured guy......keeps trying to get in blondie's pants.  Cause you know....that's what I'd be thinking about when I'm bleeding out.

One of the guys "goes for help".  I put that in quotation marks because nobody has a cell phone....apparently they were lost in the bog.  So he's gonna run into town and find a phone.  Not to call the cops...oh no....he's going to call his cousin.  Now here's the thing......we still don't know what the hell has happened, but we know that one dude is dead and another is dying.  So calling your cousin for a ride is the obvious answer, right?  He doesn't even call his cousin straight away.  He heads straight for a bar, walks in and sees a bunch of supermodel looking ladies sitting having drinks. So he goes in the bathroom and washing himself up and turns his shirt inside out to hide the blood and dirt and such.  He then saunters on up the the bar, flirts with a girl, buys her a shot and a drink and THEN asks to use to her phone.

Unhappy Boobs. 

Random Girl Boobs

Meanwhile back at the house, bald albino fellas carrying hatchets, tomahawks and other sharp pointy instruments of ouch start taking out the remaining friends.  Blondie takes a shower.  Boobs.  Brunette gets attacked.  Boobs.  Noah's cousin is hanging out with two well endowed girls.  Cue 5 minute montage of Playboy Playmate Jaclyn Swedberg trying on various bras and panties from Victoria Secret's Angel Line.  And she never actually shows her boobs.  Seriously?  You get a Playmate to be in your movie and she doesn't show her boobs?  My guess was lack of budget for expensive boobies.  Whatever.

Anyway, as Mr. Hero runs back to the house, he STOPS to watch a random girl undress through her window.  Boobs.  Are you seeing a pattern here?  Boobs.  Breasts.  Tits.  Hooters, Jugs, Milk Cans, Melons, Knockers, Fun Bags, Dirty Pillows......there are a metric shit ton of boobs!  I haven't seen that many boobs since I found my Dad's Playboy collection as a kid!  As terrible as this movie is....the writing the directing...everything....terrible....you know what's impressive?  Steve Wolsh managed to convince a hell of a lot of girls to show their boobs to the camera.

Bloody Boobs.

Scared Jiggly Boobs

There's fighting between survivors and albino rapist murderers.  The film makes the bold exclamation that it is a return to old school horror with old school gore effects, but to be honest more often than not you're just seeing a bunch of  blood flying around from off screen.  There's some other stuff that sort of happens but none of it makes a damn bit of sense.  I really, wanted to like this film.....I can get past terrible dialog, movie logic and massive plot holes....but to me this just comes across as misogynistic wank material for "aggro" young men.

Bra.  Check.  Panties.  Check.  Giant Rubber Boots,  Check.  

Kane Hodder:  Albino Booby Bandit 

Allegedly this is meant to be the second film in a trilogy, which is why the film starts and ends in abrupt ways that make no sense.  The Star Wars formula is just not working for this.  First of all, Star Wars had enough exposition where you could be put in the "Middle" of the story and you were given enough to follow along and the story would unfold naturally.  Worked beautifully.  Not to mention, it was made in such a way that even if Episodes I - III or Episodes VII - IX were never made, it would be okay because it was a complete story unto itself.  This just plunks you down in the middle of a clusterfuck and never takes the time to unfuck it.  But it does have boobs.

GORE
There's plenty of grue getting thrown around but it doesn't look like blood so much as just sticky black gunk.  Or Muck.  Maybe that was intentional......

T&A
If you love boobs, you've hit the mother load.

MONSTERS
Yes, there are the aforementioned albino boob loving rape monsters.

FINAL THOUGHTS
I really wish that I could recommend this one to you.  If you come across it on Netflix and the Mrs. is out of town....then sure.....give it a go.  Otherwise steer clear.

The Outing - A Night at the Museum of Horrors

 The Outing
1987
Directed by Tom Daley
Written by Warren Chaney
Starring  Deborah Winters, James Huston & Andra St. Ivanyi

H.I.T. Films
Skouras Pictures
TMS Pictures

Rated R - Approx 87 Min


Taglines:
 - They're not coming back.
 - You'll Wish You Were Dead!
 - Don't say see you later... say goodbye.
 - It's no picnic.

 - Make a wish... if you dare.


Alternative Titles:
A Guardiã da Lâmpada Maldita (The Guardiant Lamp Curse)  Brazil
Lampa  (Lamp) Czech Republic
La lampara (The Lamp)   Spain
Το λυχναρι του δαιμονα  (The Lamp of Demons)   Greece
La lámpara    (The Lamp)   Peru

A Lâmpada do Terror  (The Lamp of Terror)   Portugal

"I never said I was a wizard with toast and coffee."
                                                           - Dr. Wallace


Most of the time when I review of a film, it's something that I am aware of already.  If nothing else I know a loose synopsis and have a general idea of what I might be in for.  Not so this time.  The Outing came as part of a four pack of horror movies from Shout Factory (The other three films being The Vagrant, What's the Matter with Helen? and The Godsend) and while I'm sure I may have heard the title once or twice, I had no idea what I was getting into.  Sure I could have read the synopsis on the back but I was feeling nostalgic for the old days.  So I watched it based solely on it's cover art.  Just like I used to do in the 80's.

Going to rob a house and only one guy brings any tools?

Ah, the lamp.  

The Outing may be more familiar to some of you under it's other moniker:  The Lamp.  After three thieves kill an old gypsy woman and steal a lamp that was hidden in a trunk in a wall, they are all killed off by the evil genie that resides inside.  The lamp is then moved to a museum and under the care of Dr. Wallace, the museums curator.  His daughter, Alex comes to visit and she finds an old bracelet that also belonged to the old woman and puts it on.  Unfortunately it binds her to the lamp and the genie and she can't get it off.

Possessed Alex sends the rest of the students on their way

Looks cozy, don't it?

The genie then possesses the girl and has her convince her friends to spend the night in the museum....which of course they do.  Much death ensues!  I've gotta say I had a lot of fun with this one.  For the price of admission you get reanimated corpses, flying spears, reanimated snakes and of course the evil genie himself.  The film doesn't skimp on the nudity either, giving a few scenes in which to ogle some nubile female flesh.

You know 90% of all household accidents occur in the bathroom....

.....yeah I've got nothing.

The characters are (as usual in this type of film) quite stereotypical but there are a few standouts, including the opera singing security guard and the two thugs that are also stalking our intrepid group of teens in the museum.  The thugs, one of which is Alex's ex-boyfriend and he's got a serious chip on his shoulder about the breakup.  Early in the film he tries to run her and her new beau off the road, then later slams her up against a locker, pulls a knife and throws racial slurs at the school principle.  Makes me wonder what the hell she was doing with him to begin with!

You ain't NEVER had a friend like me!

Midnight Cinephile Round-Up

Death Toll:  13!  Not too shabby!

Nude-O-Meter:  You flesh fiends will have some ogling to do on this flick!  Three pairs of breasts and a quick glimpse of some 80's bush!

Things That Go Bump In The Night:  Well, we've got the evil genie causing all kinda mayhem here.  We've also go undead gypsies, snakes and a re-animated mummified corpse.

Favorite Death
In this case I've got a tie between the recently murdered gypsy (she got a double sided ax to the head) pulling down the thief and slicing his head on the other end of the ax that's still stuck in her head, and the re-animated mummified corpse who sits up and bites a dudes throat.  Both are pretty awesome death scenes!

Talk about evil dead!

Final Thoughts
Like I had said before, I went into this one with no preconceived notions of what the movies was going to be.  It was quite fun to go into this completely blind and enjoy the ride and I may try to start doing that more often.  As you can see from the final tally, there's much to like here for the horror fan and the Three B's (Blood, Boobs & Beasts) are well covered!  If you're in the mood for a campy, slightly sleazy flick with some decent bloodshed, then check out The Outing!  Apparently in the UK release (which goes under The Lamp moniker) there is a different opening sequence that was cut out of subsequent releases.

Final Rating
Three out of Five Pizza Rolls