Childhood Trauma Flashbacks Part VI: Prime Time Scares

Back in February of 2013, I posted the first Childhood Trauma Flashback in which I talked about various Television theme songs that scared the crap out of me.  Tonight we're going to take a look back at the various television shows that spooked me.  Sometimes it was a whole series that gave me the willies....sometimes it was just a specific episode.  In any case, let's step in the way-back machine and visit Young Matt in 1980-something and watch as he cowers in fear in front of the glowing pictures being emitted from a cathode ray.....

Matlock

Sure, sure....go on an laugh, but Matlock scared me as a kid.  There was ALWAYS a creepy murder that started the show, at which point Andy Griffith would try to solve the mysterious murder within sixty minutes.  I remember watching this every Monday night with my mother.....scared the crap out of me every time.  I remember one episode in particular that bothered me for a long time was about a killer dressed as Santa Claus.  Looking back, I'm not so sure it was a good idea on Mom's part to let me watch that show....


Benson
"Ghost Story"

You know, now that I'm thinking about it, there were a lot of TV shows that I watched as a kid that were really kind of over my head.  You wouldn't think that an 8 year old kid would be terribly interested in a politically themed sitcom, but man, did I love Benson.  The episode in which the mansion is apparently haunted by the ghost of a former Governor really spooked me out as a kid.  There is also an episode in which The Governor and Benson are golfing at night when a UFO appears and abducts Benson!  You KNOW how I am with aliens!  Scared the everlasting gobstoppers out of me.

Sightings

The whole damn series!

It started out as The UFO Report: Sightings.  Then came The Ghost Report and The Psychic Report.  Then Sightings became a full fledged television show that aired on Friday nights.  I've mentioned in a much older post about the Friday night tradition of old.  Things changed slightly when my sister started high school and joined the marching band.  Every Friday night in the Fall, she would playing the band during the Friday night football games.  My mother would leave me to watch my baby sister while she went to pick up my older sister from the high school.  She would usually leave just before 8:30 to be able to get a decent place to park and wait from my sister, who usually got back to the high school around 9pm (barring of course the game going into overtime).  Sightings would come on at 8:30 and I would sit there alone in the living room (my baby sister would already be asleep) and would be rooted in fear to the spot as reports of UFO's and mysterious creatures sightings would be reported every week.  My mother and sister would get home and I was so relieved to not be alone anymore.....of course I couldn't let them know how freaked out I was and had to play it cool.

The Facts of Life

Seven Little Indians

This is one of the more embarrassing scares of my youth.....and I've written about it before, but I would be remiss if I didn't include it when talking about things that scared the crap out of me as a kid.  I went into the plot in detail before, so to short version is that this episode plays like a slasher movie narrated by a Rod Serling clone.  I was even afraid of him!  He really creeped me out!  I'll never forget lying in my bed, trying not to look at my closet door (which was never able to close fully....always stuck open about an inch).  I swore there was a killer lurking in my closet and the minute that I fell asleep, he was going to get me.  I'm pretty sure that I was convinced it was the Rod Serling clone in my closet.  My mother had to comfort me for at least 45 minutes to an hour while I freaked out about the whole thing.  Every now and then she'll still get a smirk on her face and simply say:  "Tootie."  (The Rod Serling clone had a running gag in the episde where he liked to say Tootie's name....)

I think we'll stop here for the night.  The sun will be up soon and the shadows will retreat into the underground for another day.  I hope you enjoy these Childhood Trauma Flashbacks......it's quite cathartic going back and revisiting my childhood fears!

The Twilight Zone - The Invaders

Season 2's The Invaders is one of those episodes that I always manage to catch when the Syfy Channel puts on their annual Twilight Zone marathons.  Somehow, someway, the fates conspire and when I turn on my television, this is usually one of the first episodes.  Weird, huh?

The Invaders tells the story of a lonely woman in her rustic farmhouse...no electricity, no modern conveniences, who is terrorized by miniature aliens one night.  This episode is particularly impressive because it is almost completely dialog free, save for Rod Serling's opening and closing monologues and about 5 lines at the very end.  Other than those instances, the story is propelled forward and the tension mounts as the tiny invaders infiltrate the house.

Interestingly, the Invaders themselves are less than terrifying, looking like toy wind up robots.  It's the way in which they seem to pop up all over the house in the least expected places while the poor woman defends herself as best she can.  Of course the episode wraps with a surprise twist which I won't spoil here.

Home, home on the range......

Pay no attention the strange man outside your window....

Something has landed on the roof....

Of course she's going to take a look.....

Huh!  A miniature UFO....ya weren't expecting THAT, were ya?

Right from the start the li'l bastards start their assault.

These aliens are quite portly......

After getting shot with mini lasers, she checks out her welts....

The whole thing kinda has a Trilogy of Terror Zuni Fetish Doll feel.....but with aliens

Uh-oh.....never good when a knife is missing....

Another attempt to get in through a kitchen window....

Found the knife!  Ma'am?  I found yer......POKE!

One of the Invaders fires off his mini laser.....

After catching one in a sheet, he gets beaten Friday the 13th Part VII style!

Then put in a wooden box and toss on the fire.  Ouch!

The surviving Invader makes a break for his UFO.....

The woman BREAKS his UFO.....with an axe!  That's hardcore!

Hope you got Triple A, dude.

This is brings us up to the "twist" which I'm not going to spoil here....it's not a jaw dropping twist, but it does make you stop and think about your place in the universe.....I also wonder if they were thinking about this episode when they created some of the aspects of Men in Black!

The Facts of Life - Seven Little Indians

About two years ago, I ran a post about Childhood Nightmares.  Included was a section on the Halloween episode of The Facts of Life.  The episode was pretty creepy, with the girls afraid that Mrs. Garrett had been possessed by the spirit of a murderess.  I incorrectly informed you that there was a Robert Serlingesque narrator in the episode.  I had confused The Halloween Episode with the  Seven Little Indians episode.

Strange things are afoot.....

 Seven Little Indians was an Eighth Season episode (number Twelve to be exact), which aired on January 3rd, 1987.  I can quite vividly remember watching the episode for the first time.  Let's see....it was 1987.....so I was eight.  This was a little bit before I had first been exposed to Nightmare on Elm Street, so I was still pretty soft and quite a wuss.

Don't worry, George....have a balloon!

This episode plays as a body count/who-dun-it.  The girls take Andy to a horror movie (The Halloween Hacker 3: Part 6, A New Beginning, Dave Returns, Again).  on a dark and stormy night.  Tootie is freaked out by the film and can't sleep.  She hears noises downstairs and we discover that Andy is dead in the store, his mouth full of rubber cement.  The way in which the girls try to rationalize his death is pretty amusing:


Beverly : As you can see he must have come in here to blow up the inflatable moose.....

Natalie : Somehow the antlers punctured the plastic container.....

Jo: Spilling the horseradish......

Natalie : Causing him to slip on the jellybeans....... 

Tootie: And when he opened his mouth to say "Ouch!",

Jo: The rubber cement fell in and finished him off!

Beverly: Death by Rube Goldberg!


Rube Goldberg, in case you are wondering, was a cartoonist and inventor who made a series of cartoons that showed insanely complex machines that were used to for the most mundane tasks.  Basically like the crazy contraptions you'd see on Looney Tunes.....or even better....remember the board game Mousetrap?  Yep, like that.

You know things are freaky when the ketchup floats....

After Andy's death, the rest of the cast falls victim to the mystery killer Agatha Christie style, all the while having events narrated by the Rod Serling wanna-be.  I loved the Rod Serling guy.....his main schtick is that he likes to say Tootie's name.  It's fun for him, I guess.  Tootie......yeah...it is kinda fun.

The other deaths are amusing as well, death by fuzzy dice strangulation, Beverly is poisoned and makes quite an over dramatic exit....and even George Clooney makes and appearance (oh yeah....George Clooney had a recurring role, in which he played a character named.....erm.....George).  Sadly ol' George doesn't last long and ends up hung up on the coat rack in the closet.  The ending scared the shit out of me more that it really should have.  Of course now, I find it hilarious, but I'll tell you what.....when I was eight, it nearly destroyed me.

May be funny now....not so much twenty five years ago!

In my childhood bedroom, my closet door did not close all the way.  It was always open just a crack.  My bed was next to the closet door and I couldn't stand the thought of a killer standing in my closet, peering at me from the darkness.  I remember climbing down the stairs and telling my mother how scared I was.  I spent a good forty-five minutes sitting with my mother while she comforted me and assured me that there were no killers in my closet.  It's amusing to think back to those more innocent days and look at what I've become. I'm quite sure that as my mother was comforting me that night, she certainly never would have thought I would become The Midnight Cinephile.  Funny ol' world, ain't it?