The Nude Vampire - Mad Scientist Suicide Cult A Go-Go

The Nude Vampire
1970
Directed by Jean Rollin
Written by Jean Rollin & Serge Moati
Starring  Maurice Lemaître, Caroline Cartier & Ly Lestrong.





Tag Lines:
NONE!  Couldn't find any...but if I missed something, let me know!







Alternate Titles:
La vampire nue (The Naked Vampire) France (Original Title)
Alaston vampyyri (The Nude Vampire) Finland
Das Lustschloss der grausamen Vampire (The Pleasure Palace of the Cruel Vampire) Germany
Die nackten Vampire (The Naked Vampires) West Germany
La vampira nuda (The Naked Vampire) Italy

Okay....well, really, it's more like scantily clad....but still....

Some call it Euro-Horror, Some call it Euro-Trash.....the French call it le cinema fantastique.  It's all in how you look at it.  We're in the dreamy, ethereal world of Rollin again and this, his second feature film, can be a bit difficult to get through at times.  It starts off with some truly impressive imagery.  A young woman with a ornate cloth hood/mask over her head is stripped nude and has blood taken by a lab coat clad man in a red cloth hood/mask while a man in a fucked up animal mask stands guard.  The camera zooms into some technicolor chemicals being drained into beakers and we're then watching as a young woman clad in nothing but see through gossamer.  (That's the material, not the Looney Tunes monster that Bugs runs into in the mad scientist's castle.)  She is running through darkened streets, while being stalked by more men in animal masks.  The use of shadow and light here is phenomenal and creates a real feeling of dread.

See, this is why I hate going to the doctor's office.....

This kind of iconic imagery runs rampant through the film

As she is pursued  she runs into our hero, Georges, who takes her hand and tries to help her escape.  They are cornered, however and she is shot by one of the animal guys.  This was odd, I thought.  Clearly these dudes are part of some sort of cult, and they've got these creepy fuckin' masks....so I'm expecting a ceremonial dagger, a sword....hell even a scythe would have been cool.  Nope.  Takes out a pistol and caps her ass.  Georges, goes all Tarzan and climbs up some girders and gets the hell out of dodge.  Being rather curious as to why he was almost killed he follows the masked killers as they carry her to his father's private club.  When he confronts his father about it, dear old Dad tells him to mind his own business.  Thus begins the mystery.  What is going on?  Who was that girl?  Was she the same girl getting blood drawn?

Georges sneaks into the club after cold cocking a guest arriving and stealing his invitation.  Turns out his father is hosting a suicide club and that mysterious girl is a vampire, who they are keeping captive.  The members who (cheerfully?!) kill themselves are used to feed her.  It's a strange and decadent scene.  As Georges delves deeper into the mystery, we discover that his father is keeping the poor vampire captive to run tests on her, trying to figure out the secrets to immortality.  All is not as it seems though as the movie goes from strange to weird to WTF territory pretty quickly.

Hi there, you may remember my hand from the opening credits.....

Trust me when I tell you that you will have NO idea what's coming next. There are those who say that there is next to no plot in this film, but I can't help but wonder if they are truly watching.  Sure, it's got more missing  logic than a can of Swiss Cheese Holes, but I'll be damned if that really matters.  As I said in my review of The Iron Rose, you shouldn't CANNOT watch these films without surrendering yourself to them.  Amusingly, this film maintains it's mystery for most of it's running time, and then in the final minutes, it lays on exposition so thick, you'll need a sturdy butter-knife to spread it.

Double your pleasure, double your fun!

Or not.  Oh who am I kidding..they're wearing SCHOOL GIRL OUTFITS!

This film works for me on multiple levels.  First off, it's Rollin, which means it's dripping with gorgeous cinematography and vibrant textures.  Trippy outfits galore, especially worn by the lovely twins....who sport some odd, abacus like tops that you simply have to see to believe.  Speaking of the twins, they are in my absolute favorite "So bad it's amazing" scene.  Towards the end of the film, bad girl Solange takes them both out with a pretty massive iron torch.  This is so fantastically awful it's hilarious.  First off, she swings the torch SO slowly, it looks more like she was trying out some weird interpretive dance move.  It is PAINFULLY obvious that the torch doesn't connect with either twin....especially since Twin #2 starts to fall before the snail paced torch even gets to her.  Then to put the icing on the cake, we're treated to one of the twins rolling herself down the stairs while screaming.  Okay....well, actually she rolls down partway, stops, turns herself around and then continues to roll again....naturally pushing herself away from the banister on the way down so as not to bonk her noggin.  It's priceless.  I laughed so hard, I cried.

Say....this beach looks awful familiar......any one seen an iron rose around here?

*SPOILER ALERT!  IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE FILM, SKIP TO THE MIDNIGHT CINEPHILE TALLY!!!!!********

I could not help but wonder, as I watched Caroline Cartier portray the Vampire Girl, if Dan O'Bannon had taken inspiration from The Nude Vampire when writing the Lifeforce screenplay.  I just couldn't help but think about Mathilda May, strolling around in all her naked, vampiric glory.  Obviously Caroline was a little covered with her sheer robe and Mathilda left absolutely NOTHING to the imagination, but still....how many other alien vampire chicks had there been before?  Okay...well, there was Queen of Blood....but still.  This sounds like a good excuse to watch Lifeforce again so that I can make a more informed comparison.  Strictly for academic purposes....has nothing to do with Mathilda's......um......anyway.  I'll touch on this again in a future review of Lifeforce, fair enough?



Midnight Cinephile Tally:


Body Count:  It's tough to get an exact count in this one, because as usual, there are implied deaths.  So, we're gonna go with more than one and less than twenty.

Boob Count:  Well, we start out with the lovely hooded girl in the beginning, who I THINK is The Vampire Girl.....who then runs around the rest of the film in her flowing gossamer, constantly giving us just a peek at her.  There's also a model who strips and has some seriously funky metal nails....

Beast Count:  Well, there are vampires, but I really would be hesitant to call them monsters.  I'll put them animal mask wearing freaks in though.....they were fuggin' creepy!


Final Thoughts:
If you are already a Rollin fan, then you will no doubt dig this warped little oddity.  If you are new to his fever dream aesthetics, then you may want to start elsewhere....

Final Rating:
FOUR OUT OF FIVE PIZZA ROLLS!!!!

The Iron Rose - Getting Stiffies With The Stiffs

The Iron Rose
1973
Directed by Jean Rollin
Written by Jean Rollin, Maurice Lemaître  & Tristan Corbière
Starring Françoise Pascal, Hugues Quester & Natalie Perrey

Tag Lines:
La Plus Etrange des Histoires d'Amour....


Alternate Titles:
La rose de fer (The Iron Rose) France - Original Title
Nuit du cimetière (Night Graveyard) Alternate French Title
Die eiserne Rose (The Iron Rose) Germany
La rosa di ferro (The Iron Rose) Italy
Nuit du cimetière (Night Graveyard) Alternate French Title




After my recent chat with Chris Alexander, I started thinking about Jean Rollin and Jess Franco.  It occurred to me that I hadn't watched any of their films in quite some time.  So thanks to a few old DVD's in my collection and the magic of Netflix, I've been having a bit of a Rollin/Francofest.....and I couldn't be happier.  It's probably been a good ten years since I've really delved into their works and to be honest, I never really watched them with much of a critical eye before.  

Shots like this are par for the course in Rollin's films.....

I want to start with probably my favorite film of Rollin's:  The Iron Rose.  A dark and dreary, yet lyrical and achingly beautiful fever dream set among ancient crypts and tombstones.  The film opens on a beach, where the gorgeous Françoise Pascal finds the titular Iron Rose in the surf.  She picks it up and fondles it for a bit before tossing it back into the ocean.  She then wanders into town and to a wedding reception.  Was she invited?  Does she know these people?  I dunno.  Does it matter?  Nope.  Trust me, it's better not to ask questions.  A man stands and recites a morbid, yet romantic poem and when he meets our girl, admits that he recited the poem in hopes of meeting her.  They agree to take a bike ride together the next day.

C'mon...tell me this doesn' t make your asshole pucker....just a little....

They meet at a train station and play a game of hide and seek or some such flirty game and then set off on their bike ride.  They stop for lunch by an old cemetery and decide to go inside.  Naturally she's a bit apprehensive, but with a little nudge and a prod and she's on board.  The eat and then start to explore, ending up at an open underground crypt....he convinces her to go down and they make love in the crypt.  We're shown some truly bizarre and disturbing imagery, such as a fully dressed up clown placing flowers on a grave.  Meanwhile, unfortunately for them, night falls and the cemetery gates are closed.  When they emerge they are a bit panicked to find that night  has fallen.  They start to try and make their way out, but they become hopelessly lost.  Nothing looks familiar.

Not exactly where you want to spend the night....

So, is it just a case of "everything looks different at night"?  Did they simply go the wrong direction?  Is the cemetery changing itself to keep them inside?  Didn't I tell you to stop asking questions?  Yes, yes I did.  That is the beautiful thing about this film.  It is almost completely up to your interpretation.  After becoming lost and panicked, the couple start to behave erratically.  Especially odd is the physical fight they get into as he starts to chase her around the graveyard and smack her around....but even that is still nothing compared to how creepy things get when she takes a complete one-eighty and starts to refer to the dead as her friends and the living as the dead.....this after lying on a tomb outside and letting out an eerie scream.  From that point on, it's a full on freak out for her.  Again, questions will get you nowhere.  Did she snap and lose her mind?  Maybe.  Seems plausible within the film's universe.....I prefer to think that it was not her anymore.  Whether you want to call it possession or some other form of transmogrification......well that's up to you.....but after she changes, you know that nothing good is going to come.  

"Hey baby...let's do it in the crypt....what's the worst that could happen?"

Maybe we should ask for directions.....

There is so much about this film that I love.  The cinematography....the music.....the feeling.  This film really stayed with me after I watched it.  I sat and I thought about it.  It may not always make complete sense and you will undoubtedly find yourself  bewildered at moments, but if you don't fight it....if you just give yourself over to the film, you will find that it has crept into your heart and your psyche.  Every shot....every scene....they're all essential to the film and there is no waste.  It is eighty-six minutes of haunting beauty.

Gravedancing.......

Midnight Cinephile Tally


Body Count:  Well, it takes place in a cemetery, so there are lots of bodies!  Seriously though, there are no on screen deaths.....and the deaths that do occur are implied.

Boob Count:  We do see a little of Françoise's gorgeous body....but there is no explicit nudity in this one.

Beast Count:  No monsters, ghouls or ghosts appear on screen....but that doesn't mean that there isn't something sinister there in that graveyard.  Again.....all in the eye of the beholder.


Final Thoughts:
The Iron Rose is a masterpiece.  As a matter of fact, many call it Jean Rollin's first true masterpiece.  It's beautiful and challenging......and if you give yourself over to it, I think you'll find that it is a hugely satisfying film.  

Also, I think I fell in love with Françoise Pascal.

Final Rating:
FIVE OUT OF FIVE PIZZA ROLLS!