Unexpected Horrors Part V: Jim Henson - Nightmare Maker

It's that time once again to delve into the realm of Unexpected Horrors.  Those skin crawling, nightmare inducing moments and creatures that catch you by surprise because they do not appear in a horror film.  In Part III, I mentioned the Fiery's in Jim Henson's Labyrinth.....which got me thinking about other various creatures and moments in Jim Henson's world that spooked me as a kid.  So, in no particular order, allow me to count down my top Henson scares!

The Muppet Show

Meteor Aliens

In an episode with Jonathan Winters, the show is apparently under a gypsy curse with anything and everything going wrong for the cast and crew.  When Fozzy tries to convince Kermit of the curse, Kermit replies that the show would have to be "visited by something absolutely disastrous".  Just then a meteor crashes into the theater, pinning Kermit's flipper underneath it.  It cracks open and these two glittery creatures come out and announce that they are there to observe and ask questions.  Looking back on it now, they're kinda cute.  Not so much when I was 5.  They scared the bejesus out of me.  Bastards.

Fraggle Rock

The Terrible Tunnel 

For a kid's show, Fraggle Rock certainly had it's share of freaky episodes and disturbing characters (Seriously, show me a kid who wasn't at least slightly creeped out by The Trash Heap!)  One of the episodes that scared me the most when I was but a wee one was The Terrible Tunnel.  The Fraggles are playing a game called "Heidey-Ho"...a call and answer game that's sort of a cross between hide & seek and Marco Polo played on land.  Wembley is "it" and must find the other Fraggles who are hiding.  He stumbles across what he believes to be the "Terrible Tunnel"...which was a story told to the Fraggles by The Storyteller.  The tunnel is supposedly haunted and full of creatures.  I will never forget Wembley searching for his fellow Fraggles and calling out "HEIDEY!"  and an unearthly voice answering "Ho....."   Gives me chills just thinking about it.

The Muppet Show

Dancing Clowns

As a general rule, clowns don't bother me.  Some of my favorite horror flicks are clown movies:  Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Stephen King's It, House of 1,000 Corpses, etc.  However the Clowns that appeared on the Muppet Show while Judy Collins sings "Send in the Clowns" are pure nightmare fuel.  Everything about them bugged me as a kid.  The way they moved seemed unnatural.  The worst part was the fact that they attempted to make them "full bodied" Muppets, which means that they had Muppet like faces with giant alien like googly eyes that haunt me to this day.  Every once in a while, I'll wake up in the middle of the night and half expect one of these bastards to be standing at the foot of my bed staring at me.  Good thing I work nights and mostly sleep during the day!

And finally there's this:

This is wrong on so many levels.  I guess that's why I love it so much!   

Stitches - There's Nothing Funny About An Undead Clown

Stitches
2012
Directed by Conor McMahon
Written by Conor McMahon, David O'Brien
Starrring Ross Noble, Tommy Knight, Eoghan McQuinn

Rated R - Approx 86 Min
MPI Media Group
Tailored Films
Fantastic Films
Bórd Scannán na hÉireann 
Solid Entertainment

Tag Lines:
 - You'll Die Laughing
 - Bad Clown

Alternate Titles:
Böser Clown! (Evil Clown) - Germany
Mourir de Rire (Dying of Laughter) - France

"Everybody Happy?"
                           -Stitches

 "A clown is funny in the circus ring. But what would be the normal reaction to opening a door at midnight and finding the same clown standing there? A clown in the moonlight is not funny."  Those are the words of Lon Chaney Sr. and they ring as true today as when he first spoke them in the 1920's, perhaps even more so.  Coulrophobia (the fear of clowns) is a very real  phenomenon that affects a good many people today.  What exactly is it about a clown that frightens so many?

I may make this my next car......

As a former children's entertainer, I know how he feels....

The clown's painted face, which makes it impossible to identify the person underneath is a good start.  The painted on emotions masking perhaps it's wearer's true intentions and provides a canvas for us to project our innermost fears on.  The outlandish clothing seems completely alien to the normal person.  Clowns usually carry and arsenal of tricks and gags....purposeful deceit and trickery.  To be perfectly honest, I could probably write an entire dissertation on the effects of clowns in pop culture and the rise of coulrophobia since the 1980's, but we'll just keep things centered on one clown in particular today:  Stitches!

Well, that's unfortunate......

Stitches the Clown is portrayed as a less than ethical lower class kids show performer.  That is until he arrives to perform at little Tommy's birthday party.  The kids are all a bunch of ill mannered little shits who quite frankly all deserved severe lashings at the hands of their parents....but I digress.  An unfortunate mishap at the party (The kids tie his shoe laced together and then hit him in the face with a soccer ball, causing him to trip and fall face first onto a blade up knife in the open dishwasher.....mishap.....murder.....whatever you wanna call it) Stitches ends up at the ol' Big Top in the sky.

Because clowns aren't scary enough by themselves...they have to hang out in mausoleums

Welcome back, Stitches!

After Stitches funeral, things get really whacked out when a group of Cirque Du Soliel reject clowns arrive at the cemetery and perform a sacred ritual with an egg to bring Stitches back to life.  Flash forward a few years and Tommy & Co are in high school.  They're still an insufferable bunch of pricks.  Tommy's mother is going out of town so Tommy has a party with his friends.  You can see where this is going right?  Yep, you guessed it.  Stitches comes back from beyond the grave for vengeance.

Now a killer clown stalking kids may not be the most original of plots, but the film is pretty well executed.  The balance between humor and gore is pretty well done as well, with Stitches dispatching the kids in a variety of clownish ways.,  One of the more amusing has a kid getting his brain scoooped out bit by bit with an ice cream scoop as The Cutting Crew's "I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight" is playing at the party.  Other fun deaths include a head explosion via a balloon pump and a head impalement via umbrella.

EYE think that probably hurts!  Get it?  GET IT?

Death by balloon pump!

Midnight Cinephile Tally

Death Toll - We've got 6 deaths on tap here, which ain't too bad!

Nude O Meter - No nudity but there is a rather shapely lass in her underwear.....

Things That Go Bump In The Night - Well, there's Stitches the Undead Clown.  Plus the other creepy clowns in the clown cult that were hanging out in the graveyard and brought Stitches back.

Well, that is just pure nightmare fuel.

Final Thoughts
If you're into killer clown movies then this one should hit the spot for you.  It's your typical low budget slasher flick, but it's fun.  I've always been fascinated by people's fears of clowns.  Personally, I don't have any fear of them, but I can see where some people would become uneasy.  I picked this one up on DVD at Best Buy for $5 and it's also streaming on Netflix, so there's really no reason NOT to check it out!


Final Rating
Three out of Five Pizza Rolls